sunmoonandstars

happy 2010!

2010-01-01T02:51:00.002+08:00

survivor caramoan day 1

2009-07-02T15:42:00.012+08:00

June 19, 2009:

5:00am: Arrived at the airport to see the girls already waiting near the check-in counter in time for our 620am flight. We all look excited, even though Pamy has yet to sleep while the rest of us had only 3 hours worth of sleep.

5:50am: I am amazed by the on-time boarding, we’ve been wanting to be in the plane so we can snooze a bit, besides we don’t want to keep Cris, the driver of our van waiting. I got a text way before our boarding time that he was already at the Pili Airport waiting for us.

6:20am: We finally took off and it was also the signal for us to catch up on sleep. Although I wasn’t really able to sleep as I preferred to read through the Smile magazine, I just couldn’t resist reading so I’ll have an idea where else I can travel to next J

7:30am: We arrived quite on time and proceeded to the van that was parked near the flagpole. I was surprised our van was labeled as GT Express, I thought that tag was only used in Manila, guess it’s a standard things across the nation.

8:40am: Upon arrival in Sabang Port, we were roused up by a number of manongs trying to open our van’s door! Good thing it was a little dented so it did not open easily, otherwise we’d think we’re being mobbed! It turns out that they were jostling to get to us so they’ll be the ones to carry us and our bags to the boat when it arrives.

8:45am: As we walked to the dock, the other manongs informed us that we just missed the boat by 10 minutes and we had to wait until 11am when the next boat is scheduled to leave! Instead of being pissed about it, we just passed the time looking through the nearby carinderias for breakfast.

9:00am: Got in the biggest carinderia we saw and ordered veggies, killer adobo, fish sinigang and rice. We all loved the meal, specially the sumptuous sinigang soup, and to think our meals with soft drinks only cost less than P40!

10:15am: The too friendly manongs advised us that we need to board the boats as more and more people are gathering. Since it’s the last trip, we’d want to secure seats right away, so we wouldn’t be left again! Pamy wrote down our names in the manifesto and the manongs lined up in the hopes that they can carry us to the boats. But since we were prepared to get wet, we just asked them to carry our bags to safety and we braved the waist deep waters to get on the boat. Funny how the manongs kept offering excuses so we would allow them to carry us. They kept saying we’d get wet, and when we said that’s ok, they mentioned that the water is “mahapdi”! We found their excuses more pathetic when not 5 minutes into the boat ride, we got splashed by some big waves! Talk about wanting to be saved from getting wet by carrying us when we could not escape getting wet due to constant waves crashing into our boat! I wonder why they didn’t just put signs similar to EK’s Rio Grande telling people they’d get wet on the ride, but then, that would ‘kill’ the manongs’ source of income and entertainment.

12:30nn: After almost 2 hours of a very wet, bumpy and wild boat ride, we reached Guijalo Port and were touched by the simple yet effective welcome sign from our hotel, Rex Inn. I should’ve taken a photo of the small manong waving his sign while smiling widely on the dock.
12:40pm: We piled up into a tricycle – a bigger yet barer version, and started our journey to the rough terrains of Caramoan! We had to go up the sides of the mountain before we can reach the town proper, it was a good 20-minute journey holding on to the shabby bamboo handles of the tricycle for life!

1:00pm: We got into our one big room and after depositing our bags, we were offered lunch and who could resist the feast offered to us: shrimps in garlic sauce, laing, fried chicken and lots of rice J We weren’t sure if its just our hunger that made everything taste good or not, but we were more than happy and grateful for the food served to us. With our stomachs slowly filling up, we felt more relaxed and got to updating each other with the latest events and happenings in our lives. We can’t help but discuss work stuff but they weren’t the “juicy news”. Everyone was surprised when Ina simply stated her newest revelation about her New Year’s news. We also finally heard the real reasons behind of Robbie’s brief office romance. Cean ultimately admitted that she and aHeremy were an item and we got the latest update/ status of the Pady/ Jomy ‘friendship’. We were just getting on to more serious conversations when our tour guide aka Kuya Lito reminded us that we need to leave soon if we want to start with the real reason behind our almost 6-hour journey to their town!

2:00pm: We again hopped on another tricycle and went on not just a long and winding, but also a bumpy, roller coaster and baby-aborting ride to the Paniman dock. I knew it’s not the usual road but I must admit I didn’t expect it to be this rough!

2:30pm: We’re finally at the beach, but we’d still need to ride a smaller boat to get to the real beaches of Caramoan. We got to ride a red boat named Chu-Chu and we all got a plank seat to ourselves as the boat does not really have enough space for us to seat next to each other.

3:00pm: We first went to Matukad Beach, a small yet beautiful beach with powdery white sand, but not after passing Gota Beach, the only island with accommodations, and some other islands that are being used by Survivor France. Upon landing, Kuya Lito told us that there’s a lagoon up the side of the mountain which we can climb. But since only Ina is the master of wall climbing, we just asked her to take photos for us! And while she was up there, we took a dip into the ocean and marveled at such an amazing and wonderful experience! After a few minutes, Ina joined us and told us the lagoon wasn’t worth the risk of climbing but the view was something worth seeing J Good thing she brought my camera so it’ll look like I took the photos up those cliffs hehehe J

4:00pm: We left Matukad and proceeded to the quaint Honongan Beach, one of the islands used for Survivor France. This was something else, it had huge limestones on both sides of the beach to create an illusion that you are alone a.k.a. trapped in between them and have the little paradise for yourself. I think a photo best explains what I meant by that J Cean and Pamy even agreed that it was like the set for Disney’s A Little Mermaid movie. Hence, we took photos of them pretending to be Arielle J

4:45pm: We passed by Lahos beach but since it was occupied by the noisy neighbors (our co-passengers on the boat to Caramoan who did nothing but shout whenever they got splashed by the ocean, as if it was the first time that they experienced it), Kuya Lito brought us to a smaller island. We were a bit tired from getting in and out of the boat so only Robbie was ‘energized’ enough to go down and take some photos.

We asked f we can go to an island where we can see the sunset and Kuya Lito instead brought us to the now deserted Lahos Beach. We had fun with the soft muddy sand and went on to massacre the smooth beach surface! It could be an effective ad for flip flops, but we forgot to take a photo with a real pair, so we’d have to photo shop one before sending it to any brand who’d be willing to use it hehehe J

5:30pm: We hopped back to the boat and started our journey back to Paniman Bay to call it a day. We got on another tricycle and was requested to walk through a trail, in the steeper part of the road, so we would be able to proceed with our ride home, without suffering from any injuries!

6:15pm: Back at the inn and we were all tired but glad that we’ve seen probably some of the best beaches of Caramoan already. Our friendly Chef inquired if we wanted to eat and Cean answered with a resounding “now na”!

And where we happy to see what’s for dinner! Crabs (including one giant crab!), chopseuy, adobo and a plateful of rice! It was probably the best meal we had (although when I think about it, all the meals were simply delicious!) and one of the few where we finished one dish! Again, let the photos speak for themselves J

7:00pm: Since we only one have bathroom, we had to fall in line and wait for our turn to bathe. But we didn’t mind waiting since there was enough space in the room to sit and stare at the TV. We couldn’t find a decent channel, so we opted to tune in to MTV instead. And before I had my turn to shower, we were treated to David Archie’s Touch my Hand video J We all went into fan-girl mode, except for Robbie, who tunes out when talking about AI. Cean admitted that she wanted to stand and watch the video but she was already half-asleep and too tired to do so. She said that at least, she fell asleep listening to her favorite Archie song J

9:45pm: Lights out and off to bed! In the morning we all admitted that it was probably one of the earliest bedtimes we had in a loooooonggg while!

Up Next: Day 2

excerpt from the warrior of light

2009-06-26T09:41:00.004+08:00

There is always someone in the world waiting for someone else, whether in the middle of the desert or in the heart of some big city. And when these two people’s paths cross and their eyes meet, the whole of the past and the whole of the future lose all importance, and there only exists that moment and that incredible certainty that everything under the Sun was written by the very same Hand. The Hand that awakens Love and creates a sister soul for everyone who works, rests and seeks treasures under the Sun. Were it not for this, the dreams of the human race would make no sense.

- Love by Paolo Coehlo

davids in manila

2009-05-21T12:12:00.007+08:00

it's been only 5 days but seeing david cook in idol earlier made me feel the experience is still surreal. why was he in idol already when he was just here with archie last saturday?!?! but i guess these photos prove that it was real, that they were here and i was there, screaming my lungs out (thus my voice still sounds croaky)! o my! can't wait till their next visit!

the beginning...

... and the end

archie's set included: touch my hands, barriers, a little too not over you, you can, my hands, your eyes don't lie, to be with you, don't let go, waiting for yesterday, stand by me/ beautiful girls, a thousand miles, angels. zero gravity and crush.

cook's song list included: the world i know, heroes, mr. sensitive, declaration, life on the moon, always be my baby, kiss on the neck, straight ahead, make me, avalanche, little lies, come back to me, light on, bar-ba-sol and a daily anthem.

The P50 Indonesian Holiday

2009-04-22T10:54:00.016+08:00

Mar 11: Landed in Jakarta by 11pm, local time and paid a whopping IDR200,000 for the cab ride to our hotel, which is roughly 10x more expensive than our actual airfare to Indonesia! Anyway, we just charged that to experience and vowed to take only Blue Bird taxis from then on.

Good thing we had a nice, quaint hotel and yey! They had Star World so I knew I wouldn’t have to miss on the other addiction also known as AI! But too late, I opened it to see Jorge, which meant Anoop has just finished his song.

Slept at about 2 (3am MLA time), as we had to adjust a bit to the time difference hahaha!

Mar 12: I was fully awake as early as 6am because that’s about 7am in MLA already, although I think the real motivation for my early rising is AI’s replay J and we also were supposed to wake up early to go to Bandung, a ‘province’ in the north of JKT. But since we didn’t want to rush ourselves, we took our sweet time preparing and was finally on the train to Bandung by 830am. It was a 3-hour train ride so we had some time to nap and chat. We even had the chance to eat because there were free snacks on the train! It’s not much, but at least there’s free food with the IDR40,000 train ride :)

We were in Bandung a little before 12 and went to straight to the Tourist Info Desk to ask for a map and directions to the nearest money changer. I thought the officer was nice enough to point out the one that has the best exchange rates, but I felt otherwise when we reached the place, after walking through a Divisoria-like area, and waiting for almost an hour just to get our money exchanged for a million rupiahs! Yes, we were millionaires for a day!

It was al most 2pm JKT time when we had real food in Sindang Reret, one of the more famous restaurants in town. The food was good, not the best, but for two tired and hungry people, we could have been served wood and it would still taste good! Kidding aside, I liked their Sate, but the Nasi Goreng looked more like yang chow and the noodles were a bit bland. I was hoping it was some sort of noodle soup but it turned out to be their version of the pancit canton.

Now that we were full, we geared up to walk to Dago Street, where the FO’s (factory outlets) are. We first went inside an almost mall and saw people going gaga over a bakeshop, we were intrigued so we looked around and promised to come back later.

We walked a while before we stumbled upon the FO’s, and I was a bit disappointed because I didn’t find anything worthy to buy. There were lots of branded clothes, but I never was a fan of them, and maybe it’s because I couldn’t really find clothes that will fit haha!

After visiting about 5 stores, we decided to head back to the mini mall and try out the gelato Olive wanted. It costs IDR16,000 a scoop and we got one choco mint and strawberry and semi-shared the sweet, light yet flavorful goodness of the gelato. Then we spied on the throng of people who were lining up and buying so much stuff from the bakeshop and ended up buying one cheesecake and 2 brownie pans to take home. And boy did it take some intense self-control not to devour, or even take a bite off, those cakes.
We took a taxi back to the train station and waited for our 630pm train. This time, tired as we were, we didn’t get one minute of sleep as we were busy talking about stuff that I shouldn’t really write about :)

Oh, we did get to taste some brownies though as our snack included a slice of it!

We were back in Jakarta by 10pm and we went to the nearest mall to have a decent dinner, and wow, it was really a decent one because it costed IDR214,000, IDR100,000 more expensive than our lunch in the fancy Bandung restaurant. But never mind, we enjoyed the fish and chips and pasta and the salad that we had for desert. The mall also had a nearby Starbucks so we went to see if they had a Jakarta tumbler that my sister asked me to buy. Unfortunately, they only had the mug, which if I had the mistake of buying, would get me a scathing reaction from my dear sister!
Anyway, we went back to the hotel and asked if we can extend our stay for another night. Sadly, it was already booked so we inquired at a nearby hotel if they have an available room for the next night. We’re not actually staying the night, we just needed a place to shower and rest before our flight back, so yes, we were a bit exorbitant but what’s IDR414,000?!?!?!

We were back at the hotel by 1130pm, just in time for the AI results show. Okay, so it was the first time that day that I thought of the possibility that Anoop might get the boot but I was still hoping that his legion of fans would save him. Of course, he was in the bottom three, and worse, the bottom two, but he still had more fans than Jorge so he survived to stay another week. Thank goodness Slumdog Millionaire won the Oscar’s! And thank God I could sleep soundly that night knowing I’d still have a “manok” when I catch AI in MLA next week!

Mar 13: Woke up a bit late today because we don’t really know what we’d do today, although shopping was definitely one of them. We decided to go to Taman Mini Indonesia, their version of Nayong Pilipino, so we’d get to see the entire Indonesia in one day. By now, we were expert taxi passengers so we rode a Blue Bird taxi all the way to Taman Mini Indonesia. We were there a litlle early, and were a bit lost where to go until we looked for the information center where the personnel told us to ride the white cars that drive around the park.

We walked towards the shuttle station but good thing one came by and picked us up. So the driver cum tour guide drove us around real slow, talking about each area of Indonesia and mentioning entrance fees for museums or parks inside the park, and he also commented that then Pres Marcos came to one of the conferences in one of the halls in the park. He was a good guide, but although I found it a bit too forward when he asked for a tip, we thought his effort was worth the IDR1,000 we gave him, even if we didn’t think he’d appreciate the amount that much! I felt it’s similar to giving a P1 tip to a cab driver!

We went around the mini-Java areas and took several photos of the beautiful houses. But since it’s quite a big area to cover, we got tired after the sixth area and waited for the white car to drive us to Bali :)

However, the white car never came, so we were left stranded until we decided to just walk across the Indonesia map and straight to Bali.

It was worth the walk, though, and we also found the Borobudor Miniature and just took photos despite it being enclosed in a glass casing.

At about 130pm, we then finally ate our first real meal of the day, Nasi Goreng (again) and the Baksa (soup with beef balls). We also went to look around the nearby souvenir shop and bought a bag for Tin, whom we left back home.

We then walked back to the taxi areas and rode a Blue Bird taxi with a “happy almost high” driver who took us to Plaza Senayah where we bought pasalubongs for friends and family. I couldn’t buy as much as I wanted because they were a bit pricey, and the ungenerous me held back, but not until I saw the HP shirts that were on sale! I practically re-arranged the whole stocks to look for Ron shirts and ended up buying 3 shirts J I wish I bought more but I couldn’t really wear an HP shirt everyday , right?

After the shopping, we ate Pad Thai, Nasi Goreng (yes, for the 3rd time) and Fish and Chips (for the 2nd time) at an Asian Cuisine resto in the mall’s food court. We also explored the supermarket where we bought a mini 2-in-1 Wall’s tub of ice cream J
So we went to our new hotel to rest and bathe (we had a bath tub this time!). Olive slept while I watched Travel and Living. It’s a good thing we didn’t stay in this hotel from Day 1 because they didn’t have Star World, that would have made the vacation AI-free and I don’t think I could have endured it!

I woke Olive before 9pm and we prepared to go to the airport hoping we’d get to shop in their duty free shops. We still had about IDR200,000 to spare and we’d like to see if there’s anything worth buying at the airport.

The shops in the airport aren’t many and most of them were already closed. I saw a Starbucks and I had to see if they were selling the Jakarta tumblers, because if they did, I would have asked if I could buy one even if they were already closed, as a local mentioned, because I didn’t want to disappoint my sister.

Anyway, we went to our gate and lo and behold! The “departure area” where the seats were would not open until 1030 and it was just quarter to 10! So we had to wait and sit along the sides of the walkalator while munching on our IDR28,000 cheese muffins and ISR35,000 watermelon shakes. Since we didn’t see anything worth buying with the rupees we had left, we decided to buy the next best thing – food, as our P50 flight didn’t include food.

So we were on our way to the last inspection before we take our flight and I was a bit disappointed that I couldn’t bring home the bottle of hot sauce I bought at the grocery simply because their airport didn’t allow liquids in hand-carried bags, so I had to say goodbye to my IDR18,000 condiment.

We boarded the plane by 1130pm and took off 15 mins after. I didn’t remember much about the flight except the captain all woke us up just to say that we are beginning our final descent to MLA. We touched down a little before 6am and I was home via a yellow, expensive airport taxi before 7am.

All in all, the brief but busy holiday was worth it, and I couldn’t wait till the next cheap trip comes along.

happy new year!

2009-01-01T01:55:00.001+08:00

cheers to a better, brighter, lovelier and more fun-filled 2009 :)

random post

2008-11-03T10:52:00.002+08:00

it's a slow day in the office, only because our data has yet to come. so i thought i'd use the time to update and change this blog though i haven't written much lately simply because there's really nothing much to say. i'll just update photos i took from a boracay wedding i attended last month as soon as i upload them. they're still in my camera phone... geesh... i've been lazy :D

my birthday... the reunion

2008-08-31T21:33:00.002+08:00

a lot of reunions happened when i turned a year older.

spent the first hour of it with my old colleagues in cafe breton, which appears to be our "official birthday restaurant" hehehe it was sort of my birthday celebration cum jen's despedida. had fun updating each other with stories and anxieties over work and future work, about things that we have left and are leaving behind and all the other little things that we've forgotten to discuss just because we no longer see and talk to each other everyday.

lunch was spent with the family of course. went out to dine in one of the more famous chicken restaurants near our place. it was great to share a simple yet filling meal with the family. it's been a while since we did this. we've either been busy or just here in the house eating whenever we feel like thus we haven't shared too many meals all together for quite some time. and i think the 'lunch' was good for all of us. went to get groceries after and then home to eat some more :)

the evening was spent reuniting with my travel friends who went back home for a day to be with me on my birthday. ok, that's not the real reason, though, but i can believe it is hehehe! it was fun seeing them again after a year, i can't believe it's just been a year, i feel like our infamous thai trip was a long time ago. although it was amazing how it felt like we just saw each other yesterday. can't wait to travel with them again next year, target is new zealand! i hope i'd be able to save enough for it!

my birthday ended with one of the most anticipated reunions ever... from the first moment i heard about it, i knew i NEEDED to be there, and despite the 'short and sweet set', i can say it was worth every minute of it. of course it would have been better if things didn't end the way it did but then, it was better than nothing, really. it was amazing how it was my first and hopefully not the last time, to attend such an event. i used to watch a lot of gigs all the time, but they'd be in smaller venues with more artists involved. watching, shouting, singing and dancing with everyone else in such a big crowd was just a wonderful experience! who knows, maybe there'll be a repeat soon...

so many amazing things happened in just a day, so imagine what the rest of the year would be like! thanks Papa J, i know all these wouldn't have been possible without You ;)

what's your coffee bean story?

2008-08-01T00:23:00.002+08:00

read some of the stories entered on the what's your coffee bean story site and i was inspired to write my own super short story using my cool company-assigned phone while on my way home. warning: it's oozing with cheese....

coffee would mean tea when i'm with you. it would mean we have to talk, either i would need to vent or you would. i can't really say if its the richness of the chai latte or the comfort of dumping my pent up emotions on you that would calm me down during those times... it's only now that i realize that it's the combination... because sipping tea without you just feels so empty.

back from the dead

2008-07-19T01:35:00.002+08:00

and what a better way to resurrect than to answer a tag that i got 48 years ago....

1. What is your occupation? ARM
2.What color are your socks right now? white kanina ngayon wala na
3. What are you listening to right now? alicia keys' as i am
4. What was the last thing you ate? kraft snack pack thing my aunt gave as pasalubong
5. Can you drive a stick shift? yes, it's the only thing i know how to drive
6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? periwinkle
7. Last person you spoke to on the phone? jep
8. Do you like the person who sent this to you? of course
9. Favorite Drink? milk tea
10. Favorite Sport to watch? lately golf or tennis
11. Have you ever dyed your hair? nope.. virgin hair pa ko!
12. Pets? cai and gab hehe
13. Favorite Food? sitsirya
14. Last movie you watched? wanted
15. Favorite Day of the year? christmas
16. What do you do to vent anger? eat
17. What was your favorite toy as a child? pots and pans
18. What is your favorite, fall or spring? fall
19. Hugs or kisses? hugs
20. What kind of pie? pizza pie hahaha!
21. Do you want your friends to email you back? sometimes
22. Who is most likely to respond? no one
23. Who is least likely to respond? me
24. Living arrangements? boarding in my parent's house
25. Last time you cried? father's day in church, the priest read a letter from an old dad to his child, was guilty of most of the things he wrote
26. What is on the floor of your closet? old, old letters
27. Who is the friend you have had the longest that you are sending this to? no plans of sending this to anyone, but the one who sent me this i've known for 10 years now... my gas! we're so old!
28. The friend you have known the shortest amount of time that you are sending this to? pass
29. Favorite smell? smelly feet hahahaha! sadista!
30. What inspires you? answered prayers
31. What are you afraid of? mice and men
32. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? cheese but they have to be CHICKEN burgers
33. Favorite car? the old vitara, as if i have one!
34. Favorite cat breed? garfield
35. Number of keys on your key ring? 3
36. How many years at your current job? 1.2 months
37. Favorite day of the week? tgif
38. How many provinces have you lived in? none
39. How many countries have you been to? 3

away from day away

2007-12-04T21:50:00.000+08:00

ok so i'm again experiencing some weird feelings and entertaining even weirder thoughts after spending a couple of days with friends in cebu for our day away. i have once again proven that old saying that you won't really know someone unless you've lived with them. granted that i didn't really "stay" in one room with them but still, i felt it was enough for me to have an idea how it would be to be with them.

anyway, i don't want to go into details really because someone may accidentally read this and i'll be forever damned! hahaha! i just had to write something because i can't seem to get on with the thousand and one things i have to do for work! i just know that i have a lot to be thankful for and that includes these strange and odd feelings!

here are a couple of photos i took from the trip... feeling photographer hehehe!

30 on 8-30

2007-08-30T23:14:00.000+08:00

so finally i'm officially over my twenties today and despite the 'fears' of turning the big 3-0, i feel this year won't be much different from the other years. although it's amazing to think that i have been here for this long.

i used to dread turning 30 because i felt that i have yet to accomplish things, but then again, i'm not racing against anyone, i'm not measuring myself up against something, so why should i put myself under such pressure? besides, i think i may have been able to 'achieve' some 'milestones' in the past few years. here's a short list of what i am thankful for since my last birthday:

successfully managing the unexpected burden of having to handle the 'department' on my own with a little help from our consultants
this atually led to the infamous promotion, making me mb's first ever sre. more than the 'prestige and pride' involved, it's the trust and respect bestowed on me that i'm really thankful for
travel opportunities for both pleasure and work. i've been to bkk twice since my last birthday. i also was blessed enough to experience hanoi and ho chi minh for free! how fun was that!?
increased family bonding time through local travels to baguio, tagaytay and subic. not to mention the 'sabado nights' at home.
rekindling of old friendships and deepening of newer ones

i am s grateful, imagine if the first 30 years have been grand, imagine what the next 30 would be like! thanks Papa J! i'll talk to you soon ;)

happy new year!

2007-05-04T17:40:00.000+08:00

i know it's not really the new year but it seems like this will be the first time this year that i'll be posting! work got the better of me the past 4 months but amazingly, i have some free time today so i decided to check my links and see how my friends are doing and i must say that there have been quite a few changes since i checked them out.

it feels weird to be writing again, it seems i have so much to say yet i don't know what to write. you see i haven't been writing much these days, unless of course they are work-related reports that need to be written! and i know some people think that i have become a slave to my work but call me crazy but i am kind of enjoying this 'no-life-but-the-office' life. i must have spent an awful lot of time doing nothing that i didn't mind being too busy. although i must say that i was close to being burned out early this month. but since He loves me enough (hehehe) He heard my prayers and gave me a boss, which explains why i've been able to go home early the past 2 weeks and which also explains why i'll be able to go on leave after a looooong time in 2 weeks time :) perhaps i'd be able to log in again after that time, so i'll have stories to tell and not work-related stuff that no one seems to be interested in, not even myself!

vietnam

2006-12-19T23:03:00.000+08:00

logging on from vietnam.. i'm just trying to finish my net card so i'm logging in. unfortunately i see someone in line so i have to make this fast.

so far so good and i would need luck to go shop alone tomorrow.

hanoi's great and ho chi minh is better than i expected.

i miss manila but i do not miss the work there!

met new friends here and will try to post the pictures when i get more time.

it's been a while

2006-11-18T01:02:00.000+08:00

i've been busy as h*ll but i'm really loving it. loving the fact that compared to last year, i am in a much better place. a place where i feel useful, and i must admit, worthy. it sounds weird but i'm really happy with the way things are going and i know i only got You to thank for. there's a million and one things to say but right now, a big THANK YOU is all i'll have to say. thank You for loving me this much :)

birthday girl

2006-08-30T23:11:00.000+08:00

yup that's me and had a blast really, literally and figuratively speaking.

so it's the first time in my entire work life that i went to work on my birthday. i kept on thinking this is just another day after all, and as it turns out i'm right. i just hope i didn't need to hear this certain work related news that dampened whatever celebratory feelings i had.

as usual, got a lot of text greetings from friends and i am thankful for all of them. just wondering about some who didn't, well, i'll give them them the benefit of the doubt... baka wala silang load! hahaha!!!

went home early for the first time this week to have dinner with my family. we're supposed to meet at this chicken restaurant but pops had to make a quick visit to the doctor so i ended up waiting for them to arrive in the restaurant.

and He really works in mysterious ways because the waiting time actually made me feel better. you see while i was waiting for them, a pair of church singers were preparing for their gathering and they had to practice singing their hymns outside the restaurant and i just felt so amazed that He got to remind me of His power and might right at that instance. i guess it's His way of making sure i do get to feel His love on my birthday. and i must admit that i liked how He worked His way into my busy day (which by the way, still isn't finished as i had to bring work home!). i must be really someone special for Him to make His presence stronger today. oh and i must admit that i often feel not worthy enough, but i am just so thankful that He's been so patient and loving and forgiving, and though i know He'll always be like that, i just hope i will be able to give Him at least half of what He's given me.

so before my birthday finally ends, just want to give a shout out to Him, Papa J, my Lord and Savior for loving me this much! >:D<

happy birthday rupert!

2006-08-24T23:59:00.000+08:00

in spite of the shock and the "chaos" you caused, i would still want to greet you a happy birthday! what can i say? you are already a man, unfortunately, you're still too young and too distant from me! wish you're enjoying yourself, even if now i know you do enjoy more than i hope you would! take care always and i'm still hoping that i'd get to see you soon!

driving lessons

2006-08-22T15:23:00.000+08:00

driving lessons trailer

click on it and find out why i'm sad but i'm happy...

the list

2006-08-19T01:11:00.000+08:00

i'm posting this as a response to olive's "utos" :D she's asking me what i want for my birthday and told me i can not say "kahit ano" because it's something she can't buy. so here i am, making the wish list before i turn a year older in less than two weeks. warning: most of what's on the list will remain as "wishes", unless i've got a millionnaire friend :D

1. kia picanto, either the periwinkle blue or the rusty orange. i know i don't really need a car (what with the oil and parking prices) but whenever i see one i can't help but think how fun it would be to drive such a small car, not to mention how easy it will be to park! although i also find it funny that someone my size would prefer a tiny car hehehe

2. sony ericsson w800i, i remember last year i wanted another model but after seeing this orange phone in the stores, i was sort of obssessed with it but i know that i couldn't buy it because it's not practical. knowing how low tech i am, i probably wouldn't know how to properly use all the phone's features. tong phone ko nga lang na low tech na sony ericsson hanggang ngayon di ko pa nama-master, to pa kayang mas high-end na model?!

3. genuine windows for my hp, the laptop. don't report me but i hate that i keep on getting the message "your system maybe at risk" whenever i open hp. i'm sorry, i couldn't afford a laptop that had the genuine stuff in it!

4. a new bed/ mattress as i don't think my current mattress is doing any good for my back. not that it's getting worse or anything but i just feel like i need to get a new one that's a bit tougher. or perhaps i should just get myself a "papag", that way i can lie 'flat' on my back.

5. various p**at** dvds of: (a) movies i missed: rent, nanny mcphee, munich, cars, ice age 2, click; (b) old movies: jersey girl, motorcycle diaries, the cutting edge, sideways; (c) hard to find: stand by me, il postino, shawshank redemption; (d) movies that were not released here: matchpoint, thieflord, thunderpants; (e) TV shows i like: gilmore girls (2nd season), csi, joan of arcadia; (e) tagalog: pagdadalaga ni maximo oliveros, sukob (kaya lang ayoko ng kuha sa sine!)

6. different CDs, which may or may not be original: (a) cds in tower but i'm sure have pi***ed versions somewhere: high school musical soundtrack, best of the corrs, evanescence (the first album), songs in a minor (alicia keys), itchyworms (noontime show), american idol 5; (b) cds i only saw in tower or music one: best of hootie and the blowfish, disney movies (compilation of almost all the movie theme songs from majority of the disney movies); (c) cds i hope i can locate in the future: tegan & sara

7. lots of books from different bookstores: (a) seen in powerbooks: you know your pinoy if..., boy who loved anne frank, save drowning fish and bonesetter's daughter by amy tan, middlesex (the small paperback), the morning star trilogy, the twenty one balloons, crash (jerry spinelli) (b) seen in booksale: summer sisters (judy blume), a time to kill (john grisham), cider house rules, snow falling on cedars (c) penguin popular classics at goodwill/ powerbooks/ national: wizard of oz, aesop's fables, grimm's fairy tales

8. gym membership or anything that would provide me with a regular physical activity!

9. an out of town vacation, i feel like it's been a long time since i had a vacation but it was just jast february when i travelled... been so into work lately that i feel i need to relax a bit.

10. and last but not the least, this:

superman returns

2006-07-02T11:16:00.001+08:00

almost half of our office went to see superman returns last friday and i must say i had a great time, and who wouldn't? we saw a pretty real good movie, had lots of popcorn and got treated to dinner for free! not to mention that we got to be dismissed early to catch the 450pm screening :)

i am not a big fan of superman but i kind a liked the movie, despite some boring and a few cheesy parts. i liked him more when he's clark kent and i adored the young actor who played his son. i guess the long hair reminded me of another "boy with long hair" :D

we went to eat in itallianni's after and food was just delicious :D but what made dinner more special was the interrogation part, which really cracked me up! how would you feel if you were asked "nagmahal ka na ba?" out of the blue, in the middle of dinner in front of your boss?!?! hahaha!!!!

after dinner we went to get coffee so we could continue with the conversation and "bash" the people who didn't come! hehehe!!! we had such a grand time and we all hope to do a repeat maybe next month, when pirates of the caribbeans comes out :D

something to think about

2006-06-23T10:33:00.000+08:00

got this from warrior of the light online:

Beyond the port

A hermit from the monastery of Sceta came up to Abbot Theodore:

“I know exactly what the objective of life is. I know what God asks of man, and I know the best way to serve Him. And even so, I am unable to do all that I should be doing to serve the Lord.”

“You know that there exists a city on the other side of the ocean,” replied Theodore. “But you haven’t found the ship yet, you still haven't packed your bags on board, and you haven’t crossed the sea. Why keep talking about what it is like and how we should walk down the streets? Put into practice what you’re saying and the path will reveal itself to you.”

happy weekend everyone!

hi tech

2006-06-20T23:15:00.000+08:00

i've recently become a bit more hi tech upon the purchase of my "new toy" :D and i must admit it's no easy task as it just keeps on becoming more and more complicated each day! but i guess i'll get to understand everything in the long run and i'd get the hang of using this new toy soon.

anyway just want to thank my more hi tech friends for helping me out in choosing and deciding on which toy to get. i'm glad they know me well because aside from the fact that they know more about computers than i do, i think they know how i refuse to make this purchase complicated :D thanks for helping me get my money's worth :D be warned that this will not be the last time that i'd bug you about PC stuff and everything else that goes with it!

ok time for me to go bak to work.. i guess that's one of the better things that this new toy has brought me, i m now more motivated to work because using the toy is something i still look forward to doing :D

slow, happy week

2006-05-30T11:06:00.000+08:00

i'm quite in a "happy" mood because:

- i have "friends" na in the office
- both my "manoks" in AI and TAR won! yehey for taylor and the hippies!
- i'm going out with my friends this week :D
- i have less work this week compared to the last 2 weeks
- my deadline for this other report has been moved :D
- i finished reading love in the time of cholera
- i got a good job comment from a client for one my reports that i haven't even cleared with my boss hehehe
- i got the chance to surf the net for joan of arcadia news
- i saw patrick fugit (of almost famous) in a recent movie and he reminded me so much of rupert grint :D

o well, i know these aren't real reason to celebrate but what can i do? mababaw lang talaga ako e :D

squeezing this in

2006-04-25T18:53:00.000+08:00

been busy with work lately. had my first test of report writing last week and i managed to have it cleared after 3 revisions, not bad, e? it was a humbling experience but i'm just glad that these things don't affect my ego at all. i just think that that's what i'm really here for, to learn and become a better "researcher" :)

i had two more reports due after the first one and this time, i survived with just 2 revisions each! i was even told that i'm improving... don't really know how to digest that. one part of me says that's great while another part of me wonders if that's really true... o well i guess i'll find out as soon as i clear another one.

anyway, we're having trouble with this new 'client'. they've been really demanding and i don't really know how to feel about it. i know i can't put up with unmanageable people because it drains my energy, but i have to put on my happy face because i need to do the requirements given us within the next 2 weeks. there's nothing better to do than keep my fingers crossed and my prayer lines busy asking Him to help me survive the next 2 weeks!

busy holy week

2006-04-11T20:37:00.000+08:00

so where are you this holy week?

my answer to that question is: i'll be in the office working my b*tt off! not that i'm complaining, i think i like it that i'm using my brain again after quite some time :D besides it's a bit of a sacrifice, working when everyone else is on vacation mode!

before i forget, i just want to clarify where i got the idea from my last post, this thing about being buried instead of cremation, credit should go to kahlil gibran's the prophet -- his line "by the same power that slays you, i too am slain; and i too shall be consumed" really got me thinking.

anyways, enough about "morbid" things for now. i hope everyone enjoys the rest and relaxation the next few days will bring, but more than that, i hope that we don't forget to reflect and be thankful for the salvation Papa J willingly gave us.

happy easter!

have you planned your funeral?

2006-03-30T16:52:00.000+08:00

i borrowed that statement from the lead character in paulo coehlo's latest book, 'the zahir'. he says that it is not normal to plan or even talk about one's funeral because most people find it morbid.

it actually got me thinking. i've often told friends in random conversations about death and funerals, that i want to be cremated. i even told my mum about it and, similar to all my other "decisions" about my life, she's against it. she'd laugh and say i'm too big to be cremated, "sayang daw ang apoy" hahaha!

anyway, recent things i've seen and read actually made me reconsider that decision. i can't exactly remember whether i read it from 'the zahir', or saw it in 'the constant gardener' or even 'csi', but whoever said it made me realize that being buried isn't that bad.

it said that being buried is part of the circle of life because only when we are buried that our bodies are able to provide energy to other living things. when we are alive, we tend to get the most energy from other things, whether living or non-living. we eat food, which are mostly from all the other living things around us -- fruits, vegetables, eggs, milk, bread, meat -- all of these give us energy but we never really give anything back to the 'world', well except for carbon dioxide... it is only when we die that we are able to contribute to the system/ cycle because other living creatures (despite how gross they can be) also get to eat us to get energy from us.

i know it may sound shallow, but knowing that i can still 'help' even long after i'm gone makes me believe that being buried is more advantageous than being cremated. i only wanted to be cremated because i couldn't take the idea of insects and bugs 'feasting' on my decaying flesh as i decompose. but then, as some of my friends pointed out, i wouldn't be able to feel that anyways. besides, if being buried is something that will make my mum happier, why deny her of that little joy in the midst of her "sorrow"? :D

afk

2006-03-17T13:53:00.000+08:00

i guess i've been away too long! i don't know what to write even if i have one hundred and one stories to tell! i hope i get to write something decent soon. meantime, here's a list of the major topics i wish to write about soon :D

- the trips - i went to siem reap, cambodia; da nang, vietnam (just for stop-over! hahaha!!!), singapore, cagayan de oro and camiguin. i have pictures and all but i have yet to decipher how to upload them, my PC is asking for admin chuvaness and i just don't know how to get rid of it :D

- the new job and the new office - i'm slowly but surely adjusting to the new system. i just hope i get to busy soon, i kind of miss being useful hahaha!!!

- AI and TAR, i don't want to reveal my "manoks" yet, lest they be voted out soon!

- learnings from paolo coehlo's new book the zahir - it's a story about marriage but i find myself being able to relate with some of his thoughts!

- the temporary cure from the HP addiction, tin had to tell me that the DVD for GOF is already available! how come i missed that?!

so there, i'll be back, soon hopefully!

happy thoughts

2006-02-09T15:36:00.000+08:00

i'm back and i bring good news :D

i have work already! yup yup, i ain't a member of the unemployed anymore :D

right now, i'm posting from the new office and i'm a bit paranoid because i don't know if these things are allowed, so i won't post much for now.

just want to say thanks for everyone who prayed and wished me well :D

and i hope you continue praying so i won't ***k this one up :D

happy new year!

2006-01-04T12:11:00.000+08:00

finally, after 3 failed attempts to post something at home, i am back online. seems my old PC ain't that 'trusty' anymore! i can only read my friend's blogs but it does not allow me to post!

anyways, hope everyone had a peaceful and joyful new year celebrations :) mine was spent at home with the family, minus cai-cai, who, being a 'shared-custody child', had to spend new year's with her dad's because she spent christmas with us.

so like all celebrations, we had tons of food! mama can't seem to stop cooking! she had this great idea to keep all cooked food in the ref so she wouldn't have to cook once school starts! so we're still eating holiday food left-overs, it's a good thing i'm not that picky with what i eat :D

our home still has holiday decorations, i put them up and i need to put them down too! sometimes it sucks to be stuck at home because people expect you to do these things! but then, more ofen than not, i also do them on my own - i guess i have to do them because doing household chores is definitely better than not doing anything at all!

i have yet to take my job hunting seriously! i know! i need to find a job soon, but i just need a litle more time to adjust to going to interviews, taking exams and putting my best foot forward all over again :D and i called the admissions office of my plan B this morning and they said i have until feb 5 to complete the requirements so i can start going back to school :D now that's soemthing i really am looking forward to.

also, my friend from new york, cubao's coming home this february for our trip to camiguin. i am all so game to go but that will all depend on whether i get a job by then! so i am kind of torn about getting a job before or after that trip! can i just ask whoever my future employer will be to give me the last week of feb and the first week of mar off? sheesh, am i really serious about working or what?!

i really am not sure why i'm so complacent and relaxed about being a 'bum'... i guess i am comforted with the fact that whatever happens, He knows what's best for me. i know, too that it's not right to just dump everything on Him, but for now, that's the best thing i can do...

i guess 2005 has been a year of realization, it made me realize things that i can and can not do and i hope that 2006 will make me realize what it is that He needs me to because i feel i am ready for whatever it may be :D

happy holidays!?

2005-12-20T14:57:00.000+08:00

it's just 5 days until christmas and i still am not into the joyful, cheerful mood. perhaps my resignation has a lot to do with it! it's kind of bittersweet that i only have to go to work for 2 more days. i'm excited to explore other options but i also feel bad about leaving my friends behind. these people are what's really holding me back from going, but i think they understand that i have to do this for me.

i had to go around the office to have my clearance signed. of course i can't keep them from asking about the whys and the where tos, but they wouldn't want to accept my answer of "i have yet to decide on that"... they feel i'm hiding something, but i am not! is it so hard to believe that i'm just leaving work to "stop working"? i mean, it's not that i want to stay "unemployed" forever (although it wouldn't hurt if that would happen, provided i have other sources of income hehehe), it's just that right now, i have yet to decide on my next move. i just hope that they pray for me, so it wouldn't take me long to decide what i should do next. meantime, i will enjoy and be thankful that i have this time to think and reflect.

i did it finally!

2005-12-12T14:34:00.000+08:00

it didn't even take me 5 minutes to do it. but being the coward as i am, i waited until i was "called on" to do it. sheesh! all these preparations for nothing! hehehe

thanks olbjoy for hearing me out and thus saving me from hyperventilating :D

back to work

2005-12-09T15:59:00.000+08:00

i'm back here in the office but i haven't done what i'm supposed to do. i seem to lack the courage to do so... i guess i have to wait until monday to do it!

i'm back

2005-12-02T12:38:00.000+08:00

been busy with nothing much really, just trying to organize my life.

i've decided to leave work once i get back to it next week and though it scares the hell out of me that i will be unemployed as i ring in the new year, i feel it's the best thing to do. besides, i have pending applications in a few places and i'm thinking if these things don't work, then perhaps i should pursue this thing i've been wanting to do.

took me a while to accept that i am not really in control of my life and that there's Someone up there whom i should entrust these things to. so there, even if i am not 100% sure where i'm headed, i'm still going with the flow... although i've asked Him some really specific destinations, i just have to wait and see where this life will lead me.

on a lighter side, being on vacation meant having all the time in the world to obssess over harry potter, and thank goodness we live in a country where piracy is normal, i got myself a clear copy of goblet of fire on dvd and i've watched it 8 times eversince. i even have this evil plan of watching it again on the big screen once i come out of this net cafe!

happy birthday olb joy!

2005-10-14T13:57:00.000+08:00

i'm posting from home and it's a bit frustrating because my PC's so s-l-o-w so i'll just give a KISS message to my favorite friend olb joy on her special day :D

i know words can not really express the gratitude i have for you but allow me to say thank you again for being such a great friend! i want you to know that you're more than a sister to me because frankly speaking, you know me better than my sisters do :D

i have always valued your opinions, suggestions, thoughts, ideas and advice because i know you're someone sent to me by God to keep me grounded, appreciated and loved. i do believe that you came into my life as "God's representative" on earth because you bring me closer to Him, in more ways than one, and for that i am eternally grateful.

i love the feeling that i can always be myself with you and know that i will be accepted no matter what. and most of all i love how we don't let distance and time affect the quality of the friendship we share.

i wish you more luck, joy, blessings, time and opportunities to share yourself, not just with me but with the world :D

happy birthday olb joy!

change is good

2005-10-10T17:51:00.000+08:00

i am about to do something that scares me. but if i don't do it now, i don't think i'll be able to forgive myself for not doing so.

i remember a question my friends asked me, "what have you got to lose?" honestly? everything! but in the process i believe i'll also be able to gain everything back.

i have to be brave and take chances, and i think i'll need all the help and prayers i can get.

how you live your life

2005-10-07T17:28:00.000+08:00

How You Live Your Life

You have a good sense of self control and hate to show weakness.
You're laid back and chill, but sometimes you care too much about what others think.
You prefer a variety of friends and tend to change friends quickly.
You tend to dream big, but you worry that your dreams aren't attainable.

How Do You Live Your Life?

the little flower

2005-10-07T10:34:00.000+08:00

i don't normally "believe" in forwarded emails, but somehow, i had the urge to forward an email i got this morning. it's the prayer of St. Therese of the Child Jesus with a short note that she sends you a rose in one form or another (you may receive an actual rose, smell roses, receive a rose by visual means, etc.) when your wish has been granted.

i have already read this prayer a number of times, and i feel connected to it because it never fails to give me hope, especially when i feel a bit down.

May today there be peace within.
May you trust your highest power that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.
May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.
May you be content knowing you are a child of God.
Let this presence settle into our bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, and to bask in the sun.
It is there for each and every one of you.

i had been struggling with a thought for some time now and although i have an idea on what to do about it, i wanted to have a firmer conviction about it so i followed the email's instruction and sent it to 7 friends. a few minutes after i did, i got another email, that's supposed to be forwarded with this picture:

i know little "miracles" such as these, shouldn't surprise me anymore, but they are still opportunities to thank Him even more :D

voices that care

2005-10-06T14:26:00.000+08:00

Lonely fear lights up the sky can't help but wonder why
You're so far away there, you had to take a stand
In someone else's land life can be so strange

I wish we never had to choose to either win or lose
We could find a way but i won't turn my back again
You're only around the bend so hurry home till then...till then

Chorus:Stand tall, stand tall voices that care are crying out loud
And when you close your eyes tonight
Feel in your heart how our love burns bright hurry home

I'm not here to justify the cause or to count up all the loss
That's all been done before just can't let you feel alone
When there's so much love at home we send it out to you

All the courage that you've known the bravery you've shown
Clearly lights the way we pray, to make the future bright
To make the wrong things right right or wrong
We're all prayin' you remain strong
That's why we're all here and singin' along

Chorus: Voices that care are cryin' out loud, yeah
And when you close your eyes tonight
Feel in your heart how our love burns bright
You are the voice, you are the light

Stand tall, stand proud voices that care are crying out loud
They're crying out loud and when you close your eyes tonight
Feel in your heart how our love burns bright

You are the voice and the guiding light
Feel in your heart how our love burns bright

this is one of our high school class' "theme song". i think it all started when we had to sing this freshman year for a school program. it had become our favorite song to sing since then. i haven't heard this song in a while but it brings so much fun memories of high school. sayang nga e, we have an egroup but not everyone's active, me included!

be careful what you wish for...

2005-09-30T16:49:00.000+08:00

i can't remember a time when i didn't wish that i could just stay at home and do nothing. and guess what, for the next 2 months i will end up doing just that. i was given go signal to take my leaves starting oct 10 until dec 7. yup! 2 whole months of not going to the office but still getting paid!

i should be ecstatic, right? i am, but i am also being paranoid. what if the bosses realize that they can do without me? what if they just tell me not to return to work? scary, huh?! so i'm also planning to spend some of my "vacation time" exploring other options, just in case :D

i guess i am just overwhelmed with the number of days that i'll be away. as olb joy pointed out, i should just treat this as something similar to school's summer vacation. i mean i used to take 2 months off from whatever it is that i should be doing, so i guess i'll survive the 2 months away from work, right?

i've been having headaches thinking how i should spend those days. aside from the "major trip" by the end of november, i still have no concrete plans. do you guys know of any racket or sidelines? i'm still open to any suggestions :D

one thing i know i'll miss is the free net. hopefully my trusty old 486 PC will cooperate with me in the next 2 months :D

post birthday post

2005-09-29T16:18:00.000+08:00

this was my cake, mango bravo from conti's

here are 10 things i'm thankful for the past year:
1. "renewed" friendships - with the college friends, banana - the "ex-bf" and the peyups people
2. more open "family lines" - we're now able to talk more about things that need to be discussed
3. the "career path" - despite the uncertainties and the stress, i'm glad that at least i kind of know and have adjusted to this thing i'm doing now
4. travel and exploration opportunities - i've been to boracay, angeles, cebu, davao and palawan and i enjoyed every minute i spent in these places
5. books, cds, dvds and the money that enabled me to buy them
6. continuous good health for me and my family although i know i need to take better care of my health
7. more open-minded outlook on life and love - there were certain experiences that made me realize things - what i'm capable of giving and taking mostly
8. little distractions aka "crushlets" - the "boys" made some days bearable
9. technology for "free" - cellphone, digicam and the internet
10. unconditional love, patience and guidance from Papa J

can't believe it took me a month to post this! i've been busy with little things and a bit of work. i am looking forward to more blessings as i grow older, and hopefully wiser :D

list 1: things to do

2005-09-23T18:02:00.000+08:00

the other night, i made a list of the things that i need/ want to do given that i have 39 days to spend away from the office and they are:

1. fix room - change "lay-out" if possible

2. fix cabinet - throw away anything not needed

3. fix books - put all of them in the book shelf, if they'll fit

4. fix clothes - separate what i still wear from what i don't and give them away

5. fix basement - tough job, as there are a lot of things that aren't mine there - need to consult with mama what could be thrown away and what should be kept

6. clean bathrooms - time to give our T&B some real good scrubbing

7. wax floors - i used to do this 2x a year at least, and it'll be the first time in 2 years i think that i'll be doing this again... good luck to me! haha!

8. visit the dentist - i've always postponed going there with the excuse that i don't have the time. guess what? i now have ALL the time i need!

9. consult the doctor - again, this is one of the things that i keep on postponing but i guess now is the best time to finally see how my scolio's doing - it's been 10 years since i had it last checked!

10. get SSS ID - finally! i'll be able to waste time lining up to have an SSS ID. i might need to loan soon!

so there, i think i'll be busy doing these things. i'll post the second part of my list, soon. that list includes the places i want/ need to visit :D

i'm so happy it's friday :D

vacation time

2005-09-21T17:14:00.000+08:00

i have 39.5 vacation leaves left.. and we have to finish them before the year ends. any suggestions on how i should spend those days? i'm planning to go on a trip or trips, depending on the budget. are any of you guys going somewhere? can i make sabit? or is anyone willing to go with me anywhere?

i better make a list of the places or the things i want to do. i don't want to end up wasting so many days!

something i got from email today

2005-09-13T10:26:00.000+08:00

Ten Interpretations to a Happier Life

Stress affects all of us and can show its manifestations in various forms. We cannot avoid it altogether, but what we can do is follow some of these hints to reduce stress from our lives. Here is a list of ten quotations and how we can interpret these to experience a happier and stress free tomorrow.

Cry a river; build a bridge; get over it. Let go of past failures, sadness and people whom we remember but who no longer care for us. This sounds so easy but it’s easier said than done. We all have gone through our share of heartaches and sadness. But when we constantly remember the pain and suffering we had endured, we are allowing that sadness to gain an upper hand over us. What we must realize is that what has happened has happened. It’s over and done with. People change and times change. Moving on in life is very difficult but it’s the first constructive step to a better you.
Everything happens in its own time. There are things that we do and expect to be rewarded for which does not happen. In offices, there might be a promotion that we might have wanted, a high score on a test, or a job offer that we were sure that was to be given to us that never worked out. At such times we lose perspective and blame our luck and become despondent. We need to realize that there is a time for everything that happens in our lives. And when the appropriate time comes, things will start working the way they were supposed to work.
You are the only person who can make yourself happy. Think of "your" happiness, too, and be kind to yourself. In life, all of us have goals and ambitions. But in the pursuit of those goals, we lose sight of the bigger picture that we are doing these things to make ourselves happy. This is seen especially in the case of mothers who are doing so many things for their kids and family that they don't remember when the last time was that they did something for their own happiness. It happens to all of us. Be gentler with yourself. Make yourself happy, and that can be done in so many ways. Treat yourself to some ice cream, buy a book that you were dying to read, spend a day lolling in the bed doing nothing. We deserve it and so do our bodies.
Laughter is the best tranquilizer with no side effects. Laugh each and every day of your life. Humorous situations happen to us every single day. Whether you choose to enjoy the moment or not is your decision. There are so many excuses in our day-to-day life to have a good laugh. All we need to do is just look at the lighter side of life and enjoy the moment. When you laugh, don't think whether people are watching you or how much you laugh. It's their problem that they cannot find the humor in the situation that you have found.
Happiness is a journey, not a destination. As we make our journey through life, we have so many things to savor and experience. There is no such thing as instant happiness or happiness that can be found somewhere. Live your life each day, the same way you would climb a mountain. An occasional glance towards the summit keeps the goal in mind, but many beautiful scenes are to be observed from each new vantage point.
Do today what others won't so you can live tomorrow like others can't. So many times we are faced with duties and work that we are not happy doing or performing. In those times, instead of hating or shirking from that work, we can try and make use of the thought that somehow, whatever we are doing will prove beneficial to us one day or another. Maybe the results won't be seen tomorrow, but surely we will benefit because we did something that no one was willing to do. An example would be the people who started companies which are million dollar establishments today. They dared to venture and put their money in something that their colleagues would not have been willing to do, and today their work is paying off rich dividends.
It is never too late to be what you might have become. There are several factors that cause us to end up doing the work we do. Many of us, at some point of time, would have definitely wanted to make a career change and thought that it's too late to do it. But the truth is it's never too late. You can start doing whatever we want to do because it's your life and your decisions. Think of the people who attend college in their late 60's and 70's because they always wanted to do it. Such people are the ones who truly believe in this adage.
Treasure the love you receive; it will survive long after your gold and good health have vanished. We always seem to cherish our material possessions more than we should. But life can take a lot more from us. Today we might have good health, family love and a good home to go back to. What we forget is that there are so many calamities that can take away all our comforts, but love is something that can never be taken away. We need to be more demonstrative of our love towards others and treat our loved ones with more kindness and affection.
The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step. Any huge task that needs to be done seems very daunting at first. But if we analyze the task carefully, and do it step-by-step, we will find that things get resolved very quickly and easily. But we need to be bold enough to take the first small step. Once that is done, we just need to proceed with additional small steps towards our goal.
Always have something to do, something to love, and something to hope for. These three things are what will keep the flame burning within all of us. Something to do will keep us busy, something to love will keep us motivated and something to hope for will take us faster towards our goal.

the nightmoon

2005-09-07T10:09:00.000+08:00

i've always loved the moon. i love the feeling it gives me, the comfort and openness it provides me during the night. but i think jery spinelli's explanation in his book star girl captures it better:

In that moonlit hour, I acquired a sense of the otherness of things. I liked the feeling the moonlight gave me, as if it wasn't the opposite of day, but its underside, its private side, when the fabulous purred on my snow-white sheet like some dark cat come in from the desert.

loving the sisterhood

2005-09-06T10:35:00.000+08:00

august 22, 2005

i just finished reading the book sisterhood of the traveling pants and i liked it. i read it because the movie's due to come out this week (i think) and i wouldn't want to see it unless i've read the book. i had fun reading it because it was such an easy read. but despite its simplicity i found myself on the verge of tears in some parts, mostly that of carmen's and tibby's stories. i am now looking forward to reading the next 2 books.

anyway, i checked out the website to see if the girls would turn out how they imagined to be. except for lena, whom i know for sure alexis bledel is, i didn't know the other actors playing them. and i was a bit disappointed to see that kostos (lena's greek guy) didn't look the way i pictured him to be. kostos is supposed to be this hunk, gorgeous greek guy and the movie kostos was just greek-looking! he seems too old and too plain to play that part. and i think lena's story isn't that faithful with the book's and to think that's one part i really like.

also, eric didn't look like the eric in my mind, too. i didn't expect him to be blonde.... i imagined him to be more like nathan from one tree hill, but he turned out to be someone from a boy band.

now i'm in a dilemma, i am not sure if i'd want to see the movie at all. perhaps i'll just wait for the dvd (they are selling it already but it's just the clear copy), so that if it's really disappointing, i know i didn't have to waste my time getting out of my way to see it on the big screen.

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my officemates got me powerbooks GCs for my birthday and i bought 4 books on the last day of the sale.

one of them was the second summer of the sisterhood. i'm almost finished with it, about 5 more chapters and i just want to say i'm loving this book. i don't know why but for some weird reason, i always find myself teary-eyed on some parts, this time on lena's and carmen's parts.

my life feels so different from theirs, but i find myself feeling the same way they do in these books. there are instances when i feel i have or would have reacted the same way they did and i guess that's the main reason why i feel so connected with it.

it's just feels weird that i'm really enjoying reading "young adult" books lately, when i'm already an adult. am i trying to escape reality again? i really don't know, or maybe i am really just a late-bloomer, a super late-bloomer at that.

my favorite gift

2005-09-05T10:18:00.000+08:00

one of the best things i've received since i turned 28 :D

desi's page

thanks olbjoy! this made me smile this early monday morning :D

if i could...

2005-08-26T09:39:00.000+08:00

i could.. push out the door get in my car and drive to you
i really would... grab all my change and hail a cab soon i'd be there
but you won't care try as i may but i can't do a thing
cause i don't mean a thing to you

i should... pick up the phone recite your number in my head
make sure the line ain't dead
but i pause... and think of words that i would say to you
so you'd love me too

i wish... someday you'd realize the way i look into your eyes
and really think... of possibilities and probabilities
that maybe someday you would care i'd give my all
and i would do the things that would mean everything to you

- victor could, parokya ni edgar

this song's my favorite from their newest album, halina sa parokya.

anyway, hope you guys have a good weekend and happy birthday daisy!

about a brit boy

2005-08-24T13:48:00.000+08:00

happy birthday rupert!

the brit boy is now 17 years old! he's legal now in UK but 17 is still too young, right? ha! as if i'll have a chance if by some sudden luck i become 17 again! but nonetheless, i wish him all the happiness and success in his chosen career because i definitely want to see more of him. i'm so happy that he has a life outside of the harry potter series but then he'll always be ickle ronniekins first. i think he is the perfect ron and i wouldn't be this obsessed with the series if rupert isn't playing ron :D

anyways, i'd also like to send birthday greetings to my friend noreen and my pestering cousin, ian :D hope you both enjoy your day!

finally it's friday!

2005-08-19T15:30:00.000+08:00

friday has always been my favorite day even if that means i'll just be stuck alone at home doing nothing on certain friday nights. but the fact that i'll be waking up the next day and i won't have to think about work makes me look forward to it week after week!

i'm enjoying this friday so much since it's one of the last friday's of the month when the cats are away ( if you know what i mean :D). i've been catching up on my lost net times and funny how i even went home with a headache yesterday - na-over ako sa kaka-net!

speaking of the internet, and since naging batian portion na tong blog ko, itutuloy-tuloy ko na hehehe... advance happy birthday ellyn! you know i don't go online on weekends that's why i'm greeting you in advance. sana mabasa mo to kahit papaano, kahit alam namin na you have a life outside the world wide web na hahaha!!!!

and i found a quote from the warrior of light, which i think best answers my and meluck's desperate question "can i just die" whenever we are harassed....

“There is one way for you to know whether you have fulfilled your mission on Earth: if you’re still alive it’s because you haven’t fulfilled it yet.”

birthday greetings

2005-08-11T15:48:00.000+08:00

happy birthday to my dear friend, ien. hindi kasi pwedeng mag-comment sa blog mo kaya dito na lang kita babatiin ien ha ;)

this has been and still is, a busy week. it seems i'm going to have my hands full for the next 2 months, too. i'm just so looking forward to my short leave at the end of the month :D

an advance happy birthday treat

2005-08-08T17:36:00.000+08:00

it's more for me than for any of my friends, not unless they too are obsessed with this boy :D

birthday month

2005-08-05T22:19:00.000+08:00

a number of people close to my heart will be celebrating their birthdays this month which include some highschool friends and a couple of peyups friends. a few relatives are also turning a year older this month. but someone i really like will also celebrate his birthday, but unfortunately it will also mean an additional year to the already big age gap between us because i am also one of the many birthday celebrators this august.

i've got quite a long list of what i want for my birthday and it makes me laugh that most of these are things that i don't really need. they are just things that i really, really want for no apparent reason.

anyways, i'll be listing the first 10 items that i can recall from that long list:

1. i-book - why would i need one when i've got my trusty old PC here at home?

2. k7501 sony ericsson mobile phone - this is more of a camera than a phone really and i think this phone fits a really techie person which i'm sure i'm not, so why do i want it? nothing i just listed it for the sake of listing it.

3. UK editions of the harry potter series - i just want to know if there are differences between the US and the UK editions which is really just a reason to re-read and re-read the books.

4. CDs of eraserhead's circus, cutterpillow, carbon stereoxide and anthology so that i can complete my eheads cd collection - i have all these on cassette formats but since they're disbanded, it would be nice to have them in CDs so i can "preserve" these classics.

5. a set of hogwarts uniform complete with matching robes, ties and patches of course - but what in the world will i do with them? i can't possibly come to the office wearing them can i?

6. JVC videocam - i don't exactly remember the model but i saw this small JVC videocam which would be cool to have but i don't really know what i'll use it for...

7. LOTR monopoly set - i've always wanted a monopoly set but seeing the lotr one made me want to get that instead of the ordinary set, but i wonder who can i play against, or if i will ever get the chance to play with it...

8. 8-in-1 lomo camera with flash - it would probably be cool to get 8 pictures in one printing but when would i get the chance to shoot? not to mention developing would just really be an added expense.

9. pair of addidas rubbershoes - it might inspire me to be sporty or work out, but then who am i kidding i said that the last time i bought a pair of rubber shoes!

10. hp scene it dvd game special edition - well this is something that i really really want and i've actually asked my mum if she would buy it for me on my birthday. i went as far as asking mum if she thinks my ninang who's in florida right now would buy it for me. tintin sent me a link which says barnes and noble are exclusively selling it prior to its official release date of sep 1. i know i don't really need it but being the obsessed hp fan, i feel that i must have it soon! now if only mum would really buy it for me...

i checked my list and these are the more outrageous ones in it. what's left in the list are a bunch of CDs and DVDs and books that maybe a bit more reachable. i might post them some day but i'd stick with my extravagant list... sabi nga nila, libre naman mangarap e, hehehe

pancitan

2005-07-26T13:23:00.000+08:00

my mind's been full of harry potter, no make that ron weasley, these past few weeks that the other things have temporarily taken a back seat.

for instance, up started this year's uaap bid with a 3-0 winning streak... totally unexpected! but i'm still proud of it, kahit di na ako ganon ka-adik sa panonood sa kanila. i feel that after almost 10 years of watching, i had to stop myself from being too involved ergo being affected whenever they win or lose games. but still, a part of me hopes they enter the final four this year. i'm planning to watch this sat's game vs arneo, pag natalo up, baka ako talaga ang malas! hahaha!!!

work has been steady lately. i've been involved with planning work with clients and so far, so good. my clients are all nice even if we often have to meet in far away marikina city. also, i don't want to think much about work and the future these days. i'm going back to my "go with the flow" attitude because really, He has been so good, and i think i should just learn to appreciate all His blessings.

we have a new member in our department and though sometimes i feel that there seems to be a "competition" between us, i don't want to think of it that way, because i hate competing. i've never been competitive in my life i think. and besides, it's better to have a friend than a competitor. and she's really nice and fun to be with so i don't really see or treat her as a "threat" :D

meantime, both my sisters are adjusting to their new jobs. ate has been training in a call center for some time now and we're just hoping and praying that she gets to keep her job so that she'll finally have a more predictable time schedule. i just have to learn to live with the fact that i'm expected to be home "early" from mons-weds because my niece sleeps with me in the room. ate lei has also moved to citibank and she tells me she has not really started work - she doesn't even have a pc yet because of the high security chenebles their new ofc has.

i haven't seen my friends for a while now simply because i've been too lazy to go out. natatamad akong bumyahe, tapos wala namang magandang sineng pinapalabas. sana pwede rin na palaging makati ang gimik kaso hindi naman lahat ng kaibigan ko e taga-south na kagaya ko hehehe. although i'm in constant communication with the ex-best friend. it seems we're back to normal. i've been "helping" her look for a job, sabi nga nya, parang noon. well so far i haven't been successful, but i do hope that she'll find something soon. more chika about this the next time.

lastly, i am planning to go back to school next sem, that is granting everything turns out ok. i won't talk about the details first, just that i feel this is something i need to do for myself, sort of part of my "growing up" thingie so wish me luck :D

and before i go, in case you're wondering why i named this pancitan, it's because this entry's quite long with a little of everything in it hehehe

it's going to be a happy weekend

2005-07-22T18:24:00.000+08:00

aside from the fact that monday's been declared a holiday, i found this at mugglenet.com and i was speechless....
rupert at the set of driving lessons

caught by the bug - AGAIN

2005-07-18T15:38:00.000+08:00

i finished reading HP&HBP after 8 hours. i would have finished sooner, but there was a minor thing that felt major to me, that made me pause and fret about it everytime i read that character's name. anyway, i won't put a lenghty review/ discussion/ reactions because i wouldn't want to spoil it for anyone. let me know if you've finished reading it then maybe perhaps i can share more about it.

one word i can say about it: unexpected

one thing i love about it: it's ron-hermione not harry-hermione

one thing i hate about it: lavender brown

one thing i don't think i can discuss: dumbledore

one thing i'm looking forward to: snape

i've re-read the book 3 times, and last night i was on my bed with all 11 books scattered around my bed. yup all 11 of them -- 6 hardbound and 5 paperback and i don't have any plans of going out this week because i think i want to spend all of my free time re-reading and taking notes.

someone please bring me to an HP anonymous club! i'm mental about HP again!

5 days na lang!

2005-07-11T16:41:00.000+08:00

at hindi na ako matutulog hangga't hindi ko tapos basahin yung book 6 ng HP! yahoo!!!

enough happy thoughts to last me this "some-kind-of-tough-week" :D

this made my day

2005-07-07T14:11:00.000+08:00

from veritaserum.com: rupert grint on the set of his other movie, driving lessons.

on a lighter note

2005-07-04T18:16:00.000+08:00

Harry Potter: Which Member of the Rescue Mission Are You? (with all new pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla

yey! :D

5 Ways God Uses Problems

2005-07-04T14:49:00.000+08:00

The problems you face will either defeat you or develop you - depending on how you respond to them.

Unfortunately, most people fail to see how God wants to use problems for good in their lives. They react foolishly and resent their problems rather than pausing to consider what benefit they might bring.

Here are five ways God wants to use the problems in your life:

1. God uses problems to DIRECT you.

Sometimes God must light a fire under you to get you moving. Problems often point us in a new direction and motivate us to change. Is God tryi ng to get your attention? "Sometimes it takes a painful situation to make us change our ways." Proverbs 20:30

2. God uses problems to INSPECT you.

People are like tea bags...if you want to know what's inside them, just drop them into hot ever water! Has God tested your faith with a problem What do problems reveal about you? "When you have many kinds of troubles, you should be full of joy, because you know that these troubles test your faith, and this will give you patience." James 1:2-3

3. God uses problems to CORRECT you.

Some lessons we learn only through pain and failure. It's likely that as a child your parents told you not to touch a hot stove. But you pro bably learned by being burned. Sometimes we only learn the value of something...health, money, a relationship... by losing it. "It was the best thing that could have happened to me, for it taught me to pay attention to your laws." Psalm 119:71-72

4. God uses problems to PROTECT you.

A problem can be a blessing in disguise if it prevents you from being harmed by something more serious. Last year a friend was fired for refusing to do something unethical that his boss had asked him to do. His unemployment was a problem - but it saved him from being convicted and sent to prison a year later when management's actions were eventually discovered. "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good... Genesis 50:20

5. God uses problems to PERFECT you.

Problems, when responded to correctly, are character builders. God is far more interested in your character than your comfort. Your relationship to God and your character are the only two things you're going to take with you into eternity. "We can rejoice when we run into problems... they help us learn to be patient. And patience develops strength of character in us and helps us trust God more each time we use it until finally our hope and faith are strong and steady." Romans 5:3-4

Here's the point:

God is at work in your life - even when you do not recognize it or understand it. But it's much easier and profitable when you cooperate with Him.

got this from email today. so true! especially now that i realize that my biggest problem is that i need to grow up...

because i had to....

2005-06-29T10:09:00.000+08:00

Peyups.com will be having it's grand eb at Club 650 Libis (beside Shopwise Libis) on Saturday July 2. EB starts at 5pm while the program starts 7pm. There will be bands, booze, video games, a fashion show and lots more in store. Tickets at 100 pesos
and available at the gate or from the UPZS booth along the CASAA-IB Walk. We will also be shooting photos for the soon to be revived photo of the day so please be there.

If you love Peyups.com, please show your support by posting this message to your bulletin boards, blogs.

as if naman may nagbabasa ng blog kong taga-peyups na hindi pa na-message ni kuya karl! :rotfl:

addict!

2005-06-25T18:26:00.000+08:00

my daily view :D

full moon rises

2005-06-24T15:46:00.000+08:00

taken last june 22 around 7:30pm

ps: thanks to toni for teaching me how to post pics :D

star wars trilogy

2005-06-22T13:01:00.000+08:00

after seeing episode 3 about 2 weeks ago, i became a bit interested on how the whole saga ends so i went out to look for the 4th, 5th and 6th installments. i went to music one a week ago and saw the vcds. they were being sold for P100 each, not bad, but i postponed buying them. you see, i am quite hesitant to buy vcds because i prefer to watch movies in dvd format. so i asked olbjoy if it'll be a good investment to buy the trilogy. she sold the idea well so i was convinced to buy them, even in vcd format.

but when i came back last night to buy them, i only saw the 5th and 6th installments so i wasn't able to buy them again. good thing though because i then visited our friendly neighborhood pirated dvd store and guess what? they were selling the trilogy for P100 via a 3-in-1 dvd format! i know i shouldn't be buying pirated dvds but it was just an offer that's too good to resist. i mean, the main reason why i like watching dvds is because of the subtitles -- i like reading more than actually listening to the characters, trabahong tamad! and the fact that i wouldn't need to change discs is definitely another plus!

anyway, i started watching it last night but i guess i wasn't in the best mood because i fell asleep hahaha!!! the only thing i remember was the fact that han solo looks good and that luke looked like a teen-ager compared to him... i hope to finish the trilogy this week, so i can finally understand and perhaps, appreciate what is tagged as the "best trilogy" by some people.

thank God for...

2005-06-17T10:14:00.000+08:00

... wonderful friendships and siblings who listened, argued, gave options, suggestions, violent reactions, funny remarks and everything else.

all i can say is si God na ang bahala sa inyo :D

sounds family...

2005-06-16T18:08:00.000+08:00

link ko lang tong post sa blog ni olive joy... D.D.Y.

mabuti na lang hanggang ngayon hindi pa rin ako nakaka-relate sa ganitong usapan :rotfl:

good news or bad news?!

2005-06-10T09:55:00.000+08:00

my evaluation has been postponed... and i am not quite sure if that's good or bad. but then i was thinking on my way to the office that whatever happens today will happen for a reason and though i may not understand it, it's better this way. sayang naman ang 3-day weekend kung magmu-mukmok lang ako diba?

and funny how windows seem to be opening in the event that this door will be closed.

sana na lang kasi dumating na ang hinihintay ko ng hindi na ako nahahawa kay ellyn :rotfl:

-----------------------------------------------------------------

the evaluation did push through... i was expecting the results of it and as the saying goes, "the ball's in my court" (yun nga ba yun?) and i just need to decide what i need to do about it.

i kind of know the answer and although it's scary and unexpected, i think i need to do it, for peace of mind and para matigil na ang "star drama theater presents..." hehehe

ok so now, i need happy thoughts galore!

request

2005-06-08T16:20:00.000+08:00

please please pray for me as i'm scheduled for a "mid-evaluation" this friday. i think this "meeting" will break or make my career - meaning i will only know if i should continue doing what i'm supposed to be doing now or if i should take my chances somewhere else after hearing what my bosses have to say.

this thing actually makes me wonder if i shouldn't have posted that promotion thing entry. what if in the end this is not where i'm supposed to be pala?

i am hoping and praying that all the thoughts inside my head are just results of PMS. but then it's not my will but His that will be done.

paulo coehlo again

2005-06-07T11:23:00.000+08:00

The neighbor and the trees

2005-06-06T16:27:00.000+08:00

nicked from Paulo Coehlo's Warrior of Light website:

My old mill in the little Pyrenees village has a line of trees separating it from the farm next door. The other day the neighbor appeared: he must be about seventy years old. Now and again I have seen him working with his wife on the farm and thought it was high time for them to retire and have a rest.

In a very nice manner, the neighbor complained that the leaves from my trees were falling on his roof and that I had to cut them down.

I was most shocked: how could a person who has spent his entire life in contact with nature want me to destroy something that took so long to grow, just because in ten years’ time this could cause a problem to the tiles of his roof?

I invite him in for a coffee. I tell him that I will take the responsibility: if one day these dry leaves (which will be swept away by the wind and by the summer) cause any damage, I shall take it on myself to have a new roof built. The neighbor says that this is of no interest to him: he wants me to cut down the trees. I get a bit irritated and tell him that I prefer to buy his farm.

“My land is not for sale,” he answers.

“But with that money you could buy an excellent house in town and live there with your wife for the rest of your days without having to bear awful winters and lost crops.”

“The farm is not for sale. I was born here and grew up here, and I’m too old to move.”

He suggests that an expert from the town could come out to evaluate the case and decide – in that way, neither of us would have to get annoyed at the other. After all, we are neighbors.

When he leaves, my first reaction is to accuse him of insensitivity and disrespect for Mother Earth. Then I become intrigued: why did he not accept to sell the land? And before the day comes to an end I understand that his life has only one story, and my neighbor does not want to change it. To move into town also means to plunge into an unknown world, with other values that perhaps he feels too old to learn.

Does this only happen to my neighbor? No, I feel that it happens to everyone – sometimes we are so attached to our way of life that we turn down a great opportunity because we don’t know how to use it. In his case, his farm and his village are the only places he knows, and it is not worth the risk. In the case of people who live in the city, they believe that it is necessary to have a university degree, get married, have children, make sure they have degrees too, and so on. Nobody ever wonders: “could I do something different?”

I remember that my barber worked day and night so that his daughter could finish her degree in sociology. She managed to finish university, and after knocking on many a door she finally found a job working as a secretary in a cement company. Even so, my barber always said with pride: “My daughter has a university degree.”

Most of my friends, and the children of my friends, also have a university degree. That does not mean they have managed to work at what they wanted – quite the contrary, they entered and left university because - at a time when universities were important - someone said that for a person to get anywhere in life, they had to have a university degree. And so the world missed out on having excellent gardeners, bakers, antique dealers, sculptors and writers. Maybe it is time to look at this again: doctors, engineers, scientists, lawyers, they all have to study at university. But does everyone else? I shall let Robert Frost’s poem give the answer:

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and
I took the one less traveled by
And that made all the difference.”

P.S. To end the story of the neighbor: the expert paid us a visit and to my surprise showed us a French law that says that trees have to stand at least three meters from the property of others. Mine stand at two meters, so I am going to have to cut them down.

want more? then click this ---> warrior of light

happy birthday pops?!?

2005-06-02T09:34:00.000+08:00

that greeting was more of a question really, kasi naman hindi namin maintindihan kung kailan talaga pinanganak ang tatay ko!

we've always celebrated his birthday on june 2, but when he got his passport in 1992, the records showed that he was born on june 6! ang labo ano?! so since 1992, we've been celebrating it on june 6th, which also happens to be the birthday of my eldest sister. sabagay, bata pa si ate lagi namang 2-in-1 celebration sila e. kaya din siguro kahit hindi aminin ni pops, alam namin na sya ang "favorite" nya sa amin hehehe

i wonder what gift i will give him even if he already told me point blank what he wants -- cash! hahaha!!! too bad payday's still a week from now! hindi pa man din ako ganon kayaman ngayong mga panahon na to kasi dumating na ang bwakanang-inang bill ko sa credit card! which reminds me, i need to file my OT! sayang din yung ilang pesoses na yun! hehehe

on probation

2005-05-27T17:10:00.000+08:00

yup! i feel like that despite the "promotion" i got. by the way, thanks for all the congratulatory comments, but you see, i don't want to make such a big deal out of all this, well, at least not until i finish my "on probation" status.

i am "under observation" until september (:sing: mala-anwHar do you remember? on the very first day of september!), and this week is the first real work week i had since the "promotion" was announced. i have to say that i am still adjusting to the system. i've been to 2 client meetings this week, which meant i had to look presentable twice this week, haha! of course i tag along my immediate supervisor, it'll take some time before i can go to client unsupervised, and during those two times, i feel like this is a whole new ballgame for me. unlike before, i really have to pay more attention to details and to stuff the clients are saying this time. i have to absorb and understand, process and decipher them on my own because i need to. it's scary but it's also quite interesting.

it's funny how i now need to "use my friends" more often, my apologies to people whom i've been bugging with work-related questions hehe :D pasensya na kayo, sino pa bang kukulitin ko kundi ang mga kaibigan ko? hehe isipin nyo na lang na sobrang nakakatulong kayo sa career ko! charing!

so far, i seem to be overwhelmed with the things i have to know and learn, and as the days pass by, i find that there are tons of things that i still have to absorb and understand! i have to get used to this process and i just find consolation in the fact that i know He wouldn't give me this thing if i couldn't handle it. i just think that this "sudden shift in career" is part of His plans for me. and that this is His way of telling me that He's answering my "take-me-where-i-need-to-go-please" prayers. and in the end, i just have to be thankful and appreciative that He has heard and is continuing to listen to my prayers in spite of everything. and that i have nothing else to do but continue thanking Him and continue asking Him to lead me where He wants to take me :)

highs and lows

2005-05-19T09:25:00.000+08:00

they say life has its ups and downs and since i've just come back from a vacation, which was an "extreme high point" of my life, i'm starting to fall and experience the "low".

and that low point will be non other than work! i think i haven't mentioned that there has been a major change in my line of work. i am no longer just part of the support system, but i've been given bigger responsibilities. i'm quite surprised though, since i've never really considered that i'll be handling these responsibilities this soon. so just imagine how shocked, excited and scared i was when my boss told me i've been "promoted". i know, i should be thankful for the trust and confidence but i can't help but be overwhelmed and worried with the expectations and liabilities. but then i am also thrilled and anxious to "prove" myself worthy of it.

so far, i think i'm doing an ok job, until yesterday. i was supposed to have a briefing after i've come back from my vacation. i was reminded to schedule it because they're currently doing a project for a certain account. i was actually waiting for them to invite me to join in their meetings and brainstormings but they never did, to think i was a bit anxious to get back to work. anyway, this morning as i'm about to come inside the elevator, i saw the team leave for a client meeting. i don't like being left out, but i hope this is just me being paranoid about the whole thing. i definitely want to get involved so that things can go back to normal soon!

palawan escapade highlights

2005-05-18T11:00:00.000+08:00

here are highlights of our palawan trip. i apologize to people who might not be able to relate with most of what's written here, kwentuhan ko na lang kayo ng live pag nagkita-kita tayo :D

day 1 - superferry ride
- ang aga-aga namin sa pier habang si daisy e nag-tour of manila pa! tama ba namang dumaan sa greenhills ang taxi papunta ng pier?!?
- may lolo akong muntik nang makatabi sa kama! kasi naman yung ale pinamigay yung bed ko e hindi naman kanya yun!
- ang SARAP ng food sa ferry! (of course, sarcastic ako!)

day 2 - superferry ride pa rin
- nagising kami ni kuya karl para sa coron sunrise tapos natulog ulit kami!
- pagdating sa pier, pinigil ni tetet maiyak pag nakita na nya si franzine, buti na lang sinalubong kami ng banda!
- welcoming committee sina franzine and janice, buti na lang pare-pareho kaming walang ligo!
- nag-brownout habang naliligo si franzine! hmmm akala ko ba pinabura mo na yung balat mo sa pwet ha?!?!
- dinner at balinsasayaw kahit brown-out!
- gumimik kami sa kinabuch, kung saan nag-celebrate ng pagkatalo ang ginebra team! nakita ni daisy ang love nyang si andy siegle! :rotfl:

day 3 - underground river tour
- pinick-up kami ng van ng 6am! kay aga-aga!
- 2 hours travel to sabang beach at ang van parang naging 4x4 dahil humahataw sa dirt road!
- si kuya karl kakaiba, nakatulog kahit sobrang bumpy ang ride!
- excited pa kami sa boatride, lifejackets securely in place!
- may new found friend si tetet, si chito the chonggo!
- ang raming malalaking butiki! ay bayawak pala yun!
- hard hats at life vest sa underground river, paano ang daming balinsasayaw at bat shit!
- ako ang official taga-ilaw ng bangka, kaya kina franzine at kuya karl, paki-share na lang ng pictures sa loob ng cave :D
- nag-monkey trail sila - ayokong ngang magpakahirap umakyat dun! hahaha!!!
- lunch sa may sabang beach na, sarap ng chicken wings at adobo, salamat sister ni janice!
- nag-swimming sila sa sabang kung saan ang temperature ay umabot daw ng 42.2`C! kaya pala sunog sila agad!
- pag-uwi, si tetet naman ang nakatulog sa van, habang nag-slam-an kami to ice, ice baby at laklak!
- dinner kami at janice's house with the cats, pero na-disgrasya muna si daisy! hahaha!!!
- after dinner, nag city tour kami sa P5M worth of fountain at sa capitol na may rak-rakan!
- na-injure si tetet! naipit sa tricycle! wawa naman! :rotfl:

day 4 - honda bay tour
- breakfast and lunch courtesy of jollibee! salamat franzine :D
- island hopping kami, first stop -- luli island, nakalubog sya when we came at wala syang kwenta!
- off to snake island! ang the best island sa honda bay!
- salamat tetet sa pagpapakapit sa akin, nakita ko ang mga fish :D
- nagkaroon ako ng alagang yellow fish -- akala yata corals ako!
- sa totoo lang di kami ng-island hopping kasi sobrang happy na kami sa snake island!
- bumpy boat ride! isipin mo na lang nasa bus ka!
- dinner kami at kalui's courtesy of ate ellyn's text... ang layo pala ng kalui's from our inn... mga 10 steps away! kaya pala natawa lang yung tricycle driver nung nagtanong kami saan ang kalui's!
- si daisy ang reklamo, kulang daw sa lasa!

day 5 - trip to el nido
- sobrang early trip! sinundo kami ng bus at 4am!
- ang ganda ng sunrise! pero nightmarish ang bus ride - may daing, manok, maraming tao, alikabok, putik at kung anik-anik pa!
- mabuti na lang nagkaroon ng "manong, wait lang ha!" episode si daisy! pampasaya sa byahe!
- after lunch, swim na agad! hello sadako!
- nag-init ulo ni franzine sa tagal ng pizza sa restaurant ni kulot mabuhay model!
- deep sleep lahat dahil pagoda! na-deadma ang brownout from 1am-1pm!

day 6 - el nido island hopping
- island hopping kami with dhondhon, the boatman/ owner of kherhekhethek boat and andres, yul servo look-a-like!
- may na-develop! it all started because they look familiar! hehehe!!!
- katakot kayang mag-kayak! lalo na sa small lagoon na mukhang big lagoon na!
- ang hirap umakyat ulit sa bangka, ayan tuloy, nahulog sa katig si tetet!
- si franzine naman sugatan na agad!
- went to big lagoon kung saan nakakita kami ng patay na pawikan, wawa naman!
- had lunch sa simisu island, nagalit na si andres, ano ba daw kami, di ba daw kami nagugutom?!?!?
- visited nemo sa kanyang tirahan
- next stop - entalula island, ganda ng sand dito, mala-boracay! at sosi, may CR sa island (pero asa ka pang malinis sya!) dito pala nakatira si dory, medyo malayo-layo kila nemo :D
- last stop -- commando island, kung saan di pwedeng lumakad, dapat gapang lang! hahaha!!!
- sunset beach din pala sa commando, nag-kayak kami pero ang tataas ng corals, sumasabit kami! may shark! na bato lang pala at may mga nawala!!!
- na-table kami ni mr. squidos kasi nakinood kami ng TAR! yahoo! uchenna and joyce won! talo ang manok ni kuya karl kaya nag-walk-out at nag-inom na lang sya!
- nakinood kami ng AI sa may cottage namin, channel 5 pala nila e GMA, di tuloy namin naumpisahan!

day 7 - el nido lang kami
- 6am swimming na kami agad ni franzine, sayang ang dagat e, baka maubos!
- umulan habang nag-swimming kami, buti di kami nabasa!
- si tetet, mala-lola na sa kulubot!
- kapag tumibok ang puso concert sa dagat!
- lunch at mr. squidos' 2nd restaurant
- sleeping while wet kami!
- semi-hiking sa mabatong part ng beach
- art cafe dinner + pasalubong shopping, mabuti na lang may credit card sila!
- walang tulugan, hulaan night kaya nag-inom kami ng coke pampagising, pero nakatulog din kami eventually!

day 8 - trip back to puerto prinsesa
- early gising para tulog lang kami sa bus, kaya lang di naman effective sa akin!
- si tetet natapakan sa bus!
- si franzine naman nahawakan ang driver!
- si kuya karl nasira yung bukasan ng bintana!
- si daisy at janice natulog lang talaga!
- nag-brownout na naman sa inn! buti may generator na agad!
- lunch and dinner at balinsasayaw, ang sarap ng kare-kare! at ang daming turtles!
- mag-videoke sana kami pero di kinaya ng powers namin!

day 9 - back to snake island
- ang aga-aga namin nagising, si kuya karl kasi nanood pa ng tatlong kasalanan!
- change in plans today, supposedly city tour, pero mag-snake island na lang ulit kami!
- on our own kami today, sumuko na si janice sa aming mga pasaway!
- naubusan pa kami ng bangka sa honda bay, mabuti may dumating para maghatid sa amin!
- ang daming tao sa snake island! nagtago tuloy muna ang mga fish!
- salamat daisy sa paglangoy for me!
- sa sobrang amoy tahong ko na, kinapitan na ako ng talangka! :rotfl:
- "maaaaaa!!!!!" - sa susunod help or tulong ang isisigaw mo! hahaha!!!!
- picture-taking galore! nagselos kasi si daisy! hihihi!!!
- muntik na kaming mabangga! akala namin katapusan na namin! mabuti na lang happy ako Lord!
- super late dinner at sari's baryo, nakakalunod na naman ang buko juice!

day 10 - superferry ride
- di ako nakatulog ng maayos - dine-dread ko kasi ang pagsakay muli sa ferry!
- nalulungkot kami di dahil sa pauwi na kami kundi dahil sasakay na naman kami ng napakagandang ferry! huwaaaa!!!
- iniwan muna namin si franzine, pero mauuna pa rin sya sa amin!
- we learned na our lesson kaya sa horizon cafe na kami kumakain!
- may aiza seguerra cum lady dianne sa taas ng bed ko!
- nag-bonding na lang muna kami nung sunset, from 4pm to 7pm nasa deck lang kami - may pa-consuelo si papa J sa amin, the best sunset yung sa ferry :D
- nasa manila na si franzine, wala pa kaming coron!
- after dinner, tulog na kami agad!

day 11 - superferry ride pa rin + panda reunion
- wasn't able to sleep properly kasi feeling ko ang tagal ko ng natulog pero from 9pm to 11pm pa lang pala yun! na-karma rin kami kasi ang iingay ng katabi namin! not to mention may mga batang naghahabulan sa ferry!
- early to rise na lang ulit for one of the best sunrises i've seen. galing talaga ni papa J :D
- may stinalk pa kami ni tetet sa ferry, pampa-aliw lang habang may 3 hours pa kami pa-manila!
- finally after 26 hours manila na kami!
- went straight to franzine's hotel para makiligo! hihihi!!!
- went to UP to eat, eat and eat some more!
- nag-SM north kami para bumili ng pasalubong ni franzine, ang daming polvoron!
- panda reunion at mang jimmy's, sabi ni lolo mas maputi na raw sya sa amin! nooooo!!!!!
- si tintin nakahabol, buti na lang may natira pang sisig sila lolo at kuya karl!
- nag can this be love okrayan session pa kami pero nakatulugan na rin namin ang ibang parts!
- last hirit sa atrium - naghanap kami ng mao-okray sa stat yearbook hahaha!!!
- nag-taxi service sila franzine, tetet at daisy - nag roundtrip sila para ihatid ako sa bahay!
- ayun na, babu for now but see you in camiguin next year!

lesson learned: do not ride the superferry EVER again!
travel essentials: alcohol and petroleum jelly (especially when you're traveling with daisy! hahaha!!!)
realizations: i really have so much to be thankful for, among them are my wonderful friends, financial blessings and the safe, fun-filled, relaxing and hassle-free trip :D

the palawan escapade

2005-05-17T18:12:00.000+08:00

i'm back after a 10-day journey to the island of palawan. i have so much to tell but as usual i'm not yet ready to share them all. what i can only share are pictures from the trip. just click the link and appreciate God's beautiful creations :D

the palawan escapade

i'm back!

2005-04-26T18:06:00.000+08:00

i'm back in manila and i have a lot of things to write but my mind's not yet organized so i think i have to wait a few days before things get back to normal (blogging-wise).

anyways, just want to quickly write that powerbooks is on sale! yahoo!!! happy thoughts! happy thoughts! i went in the moment i saw it was on sale and i came out carrying 2 new books!

i bought an omnibus version of the series of unfortunate events and was i glad i didn't buy it the last sale because the 3-in-1 book costs a lot cheaper than buying all 3 books individually! yahoo! bukod sa sale na nga e nakatipid pa rin talaga ako :D

i also bought the book which was the title of my last entry. wala lang, na curious lang ako about it. it looks promising naman e :D

so tonight i'm going back to powerbooks to browse again and buy a book for a friend. exchange deal kami when she gets back from cubao :D happiness!!!

sisterhood of the travelling pants

2005-04-07T17:31:00.000+08:00

i will be out for the next 2 weeks for a "nationwide fieldwork". i know it will be hard work but i'm also kind of excited because it will bring me to new places.

we'll start with our MM interviews tomorrow and i'm keeping my fingers crossed that we'll get the permit to interview inside glorietta. if not we'll have to troop to harrison plaza or perhaps sm megamall where we have to "hide" from the guards so as not to be banned in these malls! hahaha!!!

on tuesday, we'll leave for angeles city. i'm not very familiar with the place so i wonder where we can talk with people. i searched the net and found that there are malls naman in the city, Nepo Mall and Saver's Mall, good luck na lang sa amin!

what i'm really excited about are the trips to cebu and davao! yahoo!!! because that means that aside from work, i'll be able to see friends whom i haven't seen in a long while. come to think of it, i haven't seen 2 of those friends! so i'm definitely excited to meet with them.

makapal nga lang mukha ko at magiging user friendly ako, kasi hindi naman ako familiar masyado sa 2 cities na yun. so i asked them to let me know where to best "ambush interview" people :D and to be honest, i think they are the reason why i was allowed to go in the first place. i told my boss that i had friends in the area who can help us with this project hehehe me and my big mouth!

but aside from these work-related travels, i'm also looking forward to the palawan trip next month! mabuti na lang na schedule yun ng 2nd week of may, the week after ma-submit ang results ng fieldwork! kung hindi.... happy thoughts happy thoughts na naman ako! hahahaha!!!

now the only other thing i need to do is shop... buti na lang sweldo na bukas :D

the week that was

2005-03-30T09:58:00.000+08:00

i haven't written anything for so long because i can't seem to organize my thoughts. i think i'm still in vacation mode after the long weekend last week. so to jumpstart my brain into thinking again, because i'll be having some real work soon and i know i won't be able to do it properly if my brain cells aren't recharged by then, i'll just enumerate the things i did during holy week, despite how "baduy" and insignificant it may sound:

holy wednesday - we're not a government office but we were also given the "day off" so i just stayed at home and slept till my back hurt. i woke up to find cai-cai and i alone in the house. turned out my mom went to buy stuff for the house and i wondered why she didn't wake me to go with her. i decided to stretch a bit after lunch so i changed bedsheets and slightly cleaned my room, baby gab will be visiting the next day so i had to "prepare" a bit. after bathing, i started reading shopgirl, steve martin's book which i got on sale, while waiting for american idol. my "manoks" did well except for anwar, but he's still my bet.

holy thursday - still woke up a little later than normal but i had to force myself to wake up before 9 because today is "labada loca day". it kept me busy until lunch when the little boy came. we all rested after eating and started preparing for church around 3. the church loooks great after the major renovation and i was surprised to see that 2 overhead projectors were added. the youngest priest gave the sermon and they showed slides with stills from the passion of the christ and i felt guilty again. i know i should have bought the dvd of that film long ago but i keep on passing it up for other things, mostly books! promise that after the trip this may i'll purchase the original dvd!

good friday - i woke up earlier than my 9:00 body clock because i can hear the 2 youngest household members laughing and giggling because they were splashing themselves in the inflatable swimming pool. after they have dried, i decided to cook for today. so i tried out this eggplant casserole my boss taught us and it was ok, except mum said the eggplant's not so good anymore because it's "magulang" na. and since the eggplant was cooked in tomato sauce, i decided to cook pasta as well. i also cooked 2 kinds of sauces, red (which just came from a can) and white (which was just cream of mushroom soup dissolved in milk and water) mixed with onions and mushroom. so we ended feasting on a day when we were supposed to be fasting! we went to church again at 4 and only mum and i ended up going with the procession since my sister couldn't because gab was being a toddler who just wants to walk and walk and eat and eat while the mass was going on. i spent a quiet evening with only my folks at home because our "borders" left already. my sister and her husband went home while ate went to work at her new job in a call center.

black saturday - since i slept in my own bed again, i woke up late again! i spent almost the entire day switching channels simply because i don't want to do anything! unfortunately there really isn't anything good on TV until 3:30 when they showed the joy luck club over at star movies. mum and i ended up finishing the movie before we finally went out to get some groceries. we were home by 8pm and after eating, we again passed the time with more TV viewing until we both felt sleepy. pops was out to meet my auntie who came from australia to commemorate my lola's 1st death anniversary a week from now.

easter sunday - got up at 9 again and started to prepare for mass. had lunch at KFC because mum was "tired" of cooking. spent the afternoon in front of the TV again catching up on my fascination for teen-oriented shows. i decided to cook more pasta so i can bring it to office as baon. yikes! today was the last day of the vacation and i ended up sleeping late again because i don't want it to be monday again!

so there, i just really spent 5 days at home doing nothing but sleeping, watching TV, cooking and eating! i know it seems like a waste of time but i enjoyed it! and i wonder how long till i can just be like that everyday! perhaps until i win the jackpot in the lottery hahaha!!!

the sagada experience

2005-03-09T10:56:00.000+08:00

april 27, 2004

hello friendships!

i just came back from a 4 day weekend in sagada. wala lang gusto ko lang i-share ang experience ko sa inyo hehehe ito lang ang ma-i-she-share ko kasi wala naman akong pasalubong :D warning mahaba to at sabog kasi i'm writing this as how i remember it na lang. hehehe

DAY 1, thu. we left manila 4am, we took the baguio-sagada route. syempre tulog lang kami the whole trip (i was with an officemate pala, si agnes) and we arrived in baguio 10 am. tapos we transferred to the sagada bus na nasa dangwa terminal, that's near the center mall in baguio. it was one bumpy ride pero baka dahil sa likod kami ng bus nakaupo.

we were in sagada by 6pm. wala na halos tao sa kalsada baka kasi umuulan nung dumating kami o lahat sila e nasa bahay na dahil may curfew doon ng 9pm.

we stayed in sagada guest house, P100 per head kung sa communal toilet and bath, P600 per room kung sa may private bath with hot water, the room is good for 2-3 people. we chose the private bath kasi ang lamig lamig, parang di kami makakaligo kung walang hot water!

anyway, maraming kainan sa sagada pero meron kaming favorite, yung sa tabi lang halos ng sagada guest house, internet cafe (yes sosyal sila may internet, di ko lang na check kung mabilis ang connection), basta food haus ang title nya. mura na masarap pa. P60/ meal, rice, ulam plus gulay at P50 kung breakfast.

DAY 2, fri, nagpunta kami ni agnes sa tourist info center, kailangan mo kasing mag register para alam nila kung saan ka pupunta at kung kailangan mo ba ng guide o hindi. so we went there para mag register tsaka para maghanap na rin ng kasabay pumunta ng caves kasi po kung 2 lang kami medyo mahal P350 ang bayad sa guide, so luckily we met 5 more people na pwede naming kasama sa caves. sina tina, sacha, zaza, sassy at ojie. naging P100 each na lang for the guides and lamps fee. kakatawa pangalan ng guide namin, si Ped at Saddam! so off we went na to the caves, sa sumaging cave kami pumunta. ang lamig sa cave! para kaming nasa states kasi may usok na lumalabas sa bibig namin hehehe

medyo nakakatakot yung cave pero masaya kasi kakaibang adventure, akala ko naman ganon kahirap na kailangan mo mag swimming talaga e hindi naman pala. may part lang na parang nakakatakot pero kung nakaya ko e malamang kakayanin nyo rin! ibang experience lang talaga yung sa cave, kasi ang galing ng mga rock formations sa loob tsaka pare ang lamig ng tubig! nag-numb mga legs namin nung first time na lumusong kami sa tubig! oo nga pala waist level lang yung tubig at may part lang na may tubig, yung iba naman wala, bat shit lang meron hahaha!!!

after the caves, nag lunch at naligo muna kami kasi medyo basang sisiw na kami. we planned to regroup by 2pm kasi maghi-hike daw kami sa demang, an old igorot village.

since we had time to kill after lunch, agnes and i decided to explore echo valley where the hanging coffins are on our own. lapit lang siya sa church, ang ganda ng view kasi puro puno at feeling mo one with mother nature ka talaga. we reached echo point, at nakita naman namin ang mga hanging coffins from afar. siguro mga 5 na coffins yung nakita namin pero we were surprised na pwede palang babain yung path to the coffins, pero dahil nangangapa pa kami e di na namin nahanap ang path pababa.

anyway malapit na rin naman mag 2 so balik na kami sa guest house where we were supposed to meet our new "friends".

nag-hike kami papunta sa demang, old igorot village daw pero nung pagdating namin doon e modern village na, kasi ang mga bahay nila gawa na sa yero, ang weird pala ng mga bahay dun pati walls nila gawa sa yero! well sa lamig naman kasi doon di sila apektado ng init ng araw kaya balewala kung yero ang dingding nila.

after we reached demang, nagkayayaan pumunta sa lake danom. ito yung pinakamahabang trek/ hike ko sa buong buhay ko! una sa may rice terraces kami naglalakad, kakaaliw! tapos maya maya may trail na sa medyo bundok... i was with people who were mountain climbers kaya ako yata pinaka kulelat sa akyatan/ hiking! after we reached a road na talagang ang layo layo ng nilakad namin to reach the lake, ayos naman yung lake, it's in the middle of nowhere at may mist-mist na siya. ganda lang ng view kasi it is surrounded by mountains.

on the way back naki-hitch na kami sa jeep kasi if we walked back pa feeling ko mahihimatay na ako sa kakalakad!

we were home before 6pm at dahil sa umuulan na naman sobrang lamig! naligo kumain at natulog na kami kahit na 640pm pa lang! nag brown out kasi e so no other choice but sleep, besides sa sobrang pagod namin e nakatulog na rin agad kami!

DAY 3, sat. Our "friends" went up Mt. Ampacao, since we were too tired from the trek the previous day di na kami sumama ni agnes. we decided to visit the town na lang. Sat is market day kaya ang daming tindera sa may kalye, para kang nagpunta ng baclaran or divisoria kasi ganon mga tinda nila doon, damit, tools, gulay, isda, etc. etc. we went to sagada weaving, wala naman kaming napala kasi di naman kami bumili. sabi nga ni sacha, nothing worth seeing hehehe although nakakita lang kami ng mga locals na nag-we-weave, bawal lang nga sila picture-an.

agnes and i tried to look for the bokong waterfalls pero dahil di kami navigators e hindi namin nakita! so we ended going back to the guest house eating and resting. inantay na lang namin sila sassy para sumama sa afternoon agenda na bomod-ok falls.

mga 2pm nag regroup na kami we learned from Saddam na wala raw tubig sa bomod-ok falls kasi di masyadong nag-uulan. so he suggested we go to Bokong falls instead. yes ang falls na trinay namin hanapin pero di namin nakita! kaya pala namin di nakita kasi ang path e nakatago as usual. ang ganda rin ng trail going to bokong, we had to pass through rice terraces ulit, and ok naman yung falls, "maganda" na rin di gaya nung sa bohol na yun na yun? hehehe

after the falls, we traced the trail going up the "mountain". tapos nagkayayaan to trace the underground river at iba pang caves. akala ko madali lang ang path na ito, kasi mukha namang sa baba lang, sabi din kasi nila na ang labas nito e yung hanging coffins area... so "madali" lang naman talaga yung path, direcho lang naman, may river pero stream lang naman siya meaning hanggang sakong lang ang tubig...

then it started to rain, naging slippery when wet ang trail kasi naging putik ang lupa! ito na yung nahirapan ako kasi dumudulas ako sa mga paakyat na trail hahaha kakaiba to! may times na para akong nagswimming sa putikan! pero sabi ko nga despite how i look e nag-enjoy ako sa trek! after a few more falls at scratches we finally reached the hanging coffins area, may isa pang area doon na naka-scatter na yung bones siguro kasi bumigay na yung coffin.

it was raining really hard kaya luminis na rin kami by the time we reached echo point. so all types of weather na ang na-experience namin sa sagada, sunny, windy, rainy at slight stormy. mabuti na lang nakabalik kami before it got really dark kundi basang sisiw na kami lost in the woods pa hehehe

we had our "last supper" with the whole group that night. nag reminisce ng mga adventures namin at nagpalitan ng numbers at emails. the three girls will go back to manila via baguio route while the 4 of us are continuing on with the trip to banaue to see the rice terraces.

day 4, sun. we were off to bontoc by 6am, we took the first jeep out of sagada. 1 hour to bontoc, we were there mga 7, we had breakfast and then we went to the bontoc museum. amazing how they were able to keep all those historical tools and other stuff. merong outside museum with remakes of the real ifugao houses, galing ng mga bahay nila doon.

anyway we caught the 10am jeep to banaue. 2 hours naman from bontoc to banaue. we arrived in banaue mga 1pm na. we checked first the bus going back to manila only to find out fully booked na siya and we have to wait until wed para sure na makasakay! but we had an option naman daw, mag jeep hanggang bagobog junction and wait for a manila bus from there.

so after figuring out how to go home that day din, we went to see the banaue rice terraces, medyo disappointing lang kasi brown brown sya at hindi all green pero ang ganda pa rin. mas malalaki siya than the normal rice terraces we saw in sagada. tsaka ang dami dami nya! worth seeing pa rin in spite of all the pagod sa byahe!

we left for the junction by 330 pm. 2 hrs pala yung ride! from banaue we passed by 3 towns in ifugao pa until we got to nueva vizcaya! pare tour of luzon! from region 1 to region 2 hehehe. then from the junction we waited for about 2 hours to get a bus to manila. akala ko uugatin muna kami bago makasakay pero sa awa ng Diyos nakasakay din kami. it took us 7 hours to go to manila so i was here by 2am mon.

did my story make sense? sa haba-haba ng kwento ko ang masasabi ko lang the trip was worth it! lesson learned, it is easier to use the banaue-sagada route on the way pa lang, meaning manila-banaue-sagada then the sagada-baguio-manila route pag pauwi na :)

now i have to go back to reality.... it is nice to be back in manila but that also means back to work na!!!

posted it here to inspire my friends to go back to sagada with me! hehehe!!!! i'd like to post pictures sana but i'm so low tech na hindi ko alam kung paano! ma-excite na lang kayo ng todo pero masasabi ko lang nakaka-miss ang mountains doon! kakaiba e :D tara na friends, byahe na tayo!

disaster week

2005-03-03T17:02:00.000+08:00

it has been so far and to think i thought not having to get up early monday morning and not thinking of work the whole day was great!

tuesday was one of the worst days of the year, and only the thought that it was a certain red-head's birthday helped me get through it.

this maybe an exaggeration, but i felt like i almost lost my job that day! we did not have the right respondents for a project i was doing that resulted to a "rift" between my boss and i. what makes it worse is the fact that evaluation time is near and i am 1000% sure that this thing will not go unnoticed and will eventually be reflected in that.

i tried to compensate for my boo-boo by working my butt off yesterday, going around the metro and interviewing people, but i felt like no one appreciated what i did. a tiny part of me felt there were doubts on what and how i was doing it, thus the need for the camera.

and today, thinking that i did try to give it my all to make this project work, my boss kind of ignores the efforts i put into it. granted that my boss has the right to still feel bad about my boo-boo, i didn't think my boss has the right to make me feel as bad as sh*t.

perhaps, at the end of the day, all these ramblings and insecurities can just be blamed to PMS, but then i think that not until i feel that my boss can trust me again, and will start hinting that the doubts are gone, can i truly say that everything will be fine and that, it's all in my head...

i need my mama because i feel i need a hug!

comforting words

2005-02-23T13:47:00.000+08:00

All that I am, all that I have,
I lay them down before You, oh Lord
All my regrets, all my acclaim
The joy and the pain, I'm making them Yours.

Lord, I offer my life to You,
Everything I've been through, use it for Your glory.
Lord, I offer my days to You,
Lifting my praise to You, as a pleasing sacrifice
Lord, I offer You my life.

Things in the past, things yet unseen,
Wishes and dreams that are yet to come true.
All of my hopes, all of my plans,
My heart and my hands are lifted to You.

i heard this song again last sunday and it never fails to make me cry. i often find it embarrassing because we sing it at church and i think that perhaps people might not understand why i'm suddenly teary-eyed in the middle of the offertory, not to mention it is a slightly upbeat song.

i guess this song reminds me of my real purpose in life. i mean i still am not sure what will eventually happen, but the fact that i know He will make everything all right, just as long as I ask Him to, gives me so much comfort.

this line from mitch albom's 5 people you meet in heaven has the same effect on me.

You're supposed to be there...

these things console me, because admittedly, i'm not one of the "good girls", and hearing such things make me feel safe and in a weird, weird way worthy of His love.

post valentine chuva

2005-02-18T15:20:00.000+08:00

thanks to olbjoy for sending her post-valentine email, di ko na tuloy kailangang i-research tong mga poems na to:

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone.
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone.
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum,
Bring out the coffin...let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle, moaning overhead,
Scribbling on the sky the message: He is Dead.
Put crepe bows 'round the necks of public doves,
Let traffic policemen wear black, cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East, my West.
My working week and my Sunday rest.
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song,
I thought love would last forever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now, put out every one.
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun.
Pour out the ocean and sweep up the wood,
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

the poem above is taken from the movie 4 weddings and a funeral and i've always "fantasized" that someone would get to read that poem too, when i'm gone. morbid ba? di naman i just hope that i'd be able to touch someone that much :)

I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you drive my car.
I hate it when you stare.
I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind.
I hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme.
I hate the way you're always right.
I hate it when you lie.
I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry.
I hate it that you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call.
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you.
Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

this second poem comes from one of my alltime favorite movies, 10 things i hate about you. i've realized that stories with bickering couples always interest me, take for example this movie along with the cutting edge and of course HP series wherein ron and hermione has a number of relentless banterings. will it also translate in real life? i still refuse to think and talk about it hehehe!!!

"bloody" heart's day

2005-02-15T16:35:00.000+08:00

got that line from ex-boss ellyn whom i had dinner with last night.

anyway, here's a rundown of events that might not have happened if it wasn't valentine's day yesterday:

ate lunch at kfc with achib and toni and went around greenbelt to purchase valentine's gifts for toni's husby

spent entire day stressing about this "wonderful project" for a brand which we do not handle

got a text from ex-boss ellyn inviting me out for dinner

bumped into ex-best friend at powerbooks where she "accused" me of withholding information abou seatmate when i was only keeping my promise of not telling

ate in friday's even though it was a monday

went to bibliarch and saw 2 books i've always wanted to buy but couldn't because they were quite expensive, being sold at reasonable prices

got a text from achib about the simultaneous bombings in ayala, davao and gensan

received and sent texts to friends, including the elusive maryluck and far-away ien, reminding each one to take care because of the scary bombings

stayed up late to catch the rerun of the grammy awards where 2 of my favorites won, alicia keys for best r&B female performance and maroon 5 for best new artist

all in all it was a happy, scary, stressful day but i hope we scrap the "bloody" part next year, not unless i am celebrating V day somewhere in UK and saying "bloody" doesn't mean "with blood"!

happy birthday ma!

2005-02-11T09:52:00.000+08:00

I know this will come out as a surprise to you. You know very well that I am the least expressive of your daughters. In fact, I am always the one arguing with you rather than agreeing with you. But then we’ve always understood that this is the case with us. How many times have we argued and made up? How many times have I kidded with the idea that we can’t be separated for long for you will miss me, for you have no one to fight with?

Although, sometimes I think that it’s foolish that we fight about almost anything. Come to think of it, most of our arguments arise from trivial things such as the time when we fought over what shoes I will wear for Ate Lei’s wedding. You know that I do not like to wear sandals, especially ones with heels, and yet when I asked your opinion, you chose the ones that you know very well that I can not and will never wear!

Remember the times when we would always argue about ate’s upbringing of Cai-Cai? You’re always the cool lola, you have spoiled her so much. You give her everything she wants, you’re an advocate of giving her whatever she wants as long as its possible. And I on the other hand am a staunch believer of discipline. She should not get whatever she wants for she would always think that she’ll get her way around it.

But despite our numerous fights, I still feel the different kind of connection between us. Me being the youngest gave me the privilege to still and always be your “baby”. You’re still the only person whom I can hug and sleep beside with, that, in spite of me being bigger and taller than you! It is with you that I find comfort in my gloomiest day and darkest night, for it is with you that I feel the love and assurance that I have always wanted to have.

We have indeed been through a lot ma, and more often than not I end up hurting you. But believe me, I don’t mean to, I never imagine reasoning out with you would cause you so much pain. Would you believe me when I say I feel I got all these emotions from you? I know we fight a lot, and I think it’s because we share the same beliefs, the same kind of reasoning, the same sentiments perhaps, and I guess we can’t blame each other for we’ve always had each other to hold on to and break away from.

I know it hurts you every time we argue and you feel like I act as dominant, more intelligent and even more motherly than you. You always tell me I always make you feel stupid and insignificant. You think so lowly of yourself, and that you feel that when we argue, I berate you more. But that isn’t the case ma, I guess I just grew up like you, who would voice out her opinions no matter if it’ll hurt others. I’ve learned to be rough and tough during difficult times because that’s how you’ve been to me.

When I am hurt and depressed, you’d give a lecture how I should have done better so as not to feel sorry for myself. You’ve never given me the comfortable hand nor the shoulder to lean on to. But rather you gave me a part of yourself that looks angry, mad and even disappointed sometimes. But you’ve always made yourself clear, you’re not angry or mad at me, but at the situation. Somehow I learned to have that same thinking, that’s why now, when you pour your sentiments on me, I kind of do the same things with you. I reason out instead of listening and though I don’t mean to, I guess it widens the rift that’s already between us.

But ma, in spite of everything, I am proud of you. Really, I know I don’t always show it but I will always be following you. In fact I feel that everything that I am doing now is for you and about you. Never mind if I don’t get to marry. Never mind if I get to grow old alone, as long as I can grow old with you and take care of you. I know I will be happy for I know it’s time for me to return the selflessness by being the mother this time.

season changes

2005-02-10T09:28:00.000+08:00

we went to mass yesterday and the priest had a beautiful sermon about the "beauty" of celebrating ash wednesday and chinese new year on the same day. he said that both events' dates are "dictated" by the new moon of the spring and despite the differences in the celebration, they are both sending out messages of renewals. and i know that it's something i have to do soon... change things so i can be capable of renewing and moving on...

------------------------

meantime, in not so "serious" things... i am feeling bad since last night. and it's all because my team in the amazing race lost! :( this is exactly the reason why i promised myself that i will not root for a particular team anymore because i can't help but be so affected when they get eliminated! but then, i did not admit to myself that kris and jon were my favorite team until the last leg! i thought since they made it this far without being "bad", i thought they had the greatest chance to win the race! but i guess it was not meant to be and i just have to be comforted with the "lesson" i learned from princess bride, which is, life is unfair!

i need to do something to take the bad feeling away! although i might just know what will make me feel better, but i have to wait for next week... you see i saw this announcement in the lobby about a powerbooks fair in the building next week :) hmmm... i just hope they offer discounts so i can get at least one book, the book i failed to buy in last month's sale. i wanted to get it because i read somewhere that peter jackson (yes, the great peter "lotr" jackson) is interested in making it into a movie therefore, i need to read that book! :)

change in name

2005-02-07T13:35:00.000+08:00

i decided to change this blog's name to a "safer" name. kasi naman, akala ni ate mimi secret blog ito, hindi naman sa secret, hindi ko lang din ina-advertise hehehe and now that i realize na pwede nyang i-link to sa blog nya, naisip ko na dapat medyo "safe" at di naman kasing-give-away ng old name ko tong blog na to. mahirap na, sikat si ate mimi e, you'll never know sinong makakarating dito from her links hahaha!!!

and because i'm not creative enough to think of any other name, i'm using this name (again!). buti na lang wala pang ibang walang isip tulad ko na nakakaisip nito hehehe

anyway, i wanted to go on leave this wednesday, season finale ng TAR e! but then, my boss beat me to it. she filed her leave already which means i can't! kailangan ng taong bahay... so my officemate and i planned to watch it in the GD room together na lang that day, but someone needs to borrow the room that same morning! which means no place to watch TAR kami! which means sa gabi pa kami makakanood! uuwi na lang ako ng maaga on wednesday, tutal, wala namang boss e hehehe

of books and brits

2005-02-02T10:07:00.000+08:00

i'm not really sure, but i'm guessing "harry potter" has got a big influence on it, but i find myself enjoying books written by british authors more than american authors.

i'm not really aware who the famous brit authors are, but from my last books purchase, i think a couple of them are brits as their book settings are set in london. which makes me think more about my "dreams of getting there" one day soon. i even found myself researching on the different counties of england to familiarize myself with the places mentioned in the books.

but since i don't really know a lot of brit authors, i think i'd have to research on them, too. hmmm, now that i think about it, i am slightly confused, are the classics written by american or british authors? or that depends? guess there's only one way to find out... buti na lang free net dito! hehehe!!!

time out from over time

2005-01-25T17:14:00.000+08:00

i've been slaving over work for the past week! i was not able to enjoy the weekend because we were finishing a pitch for a possible new client. i am hoping and praying that all our efforts would not go to waste! Lord, grant us this account please! :D

anyway, that's the reason why i went home early yesterday and came in late today. i felt it was the only way that i can compensate for my "lost weekend".

i wanted to have a weekend because i bought 4 new books last week and i haven't had time to read them. i was also very lucky to get the princess bride yesterday at powerbooks glorietta :D so there i have 5 new books (and i plan on buying 3 more before the sale ends), and i have got no time to read them all! but then, the mere thought of having them with me is enough to make me go through hours of work. i guess i have just to wait for the "pouring rains" to become drizzles.

----

wrote that thing above at around 130 this pm.

i'm a bit pissed right now. i just found out that this other thing i'm doing will not push through, and what makes it really irritating is the fact that i was not supposed to do it in the first place! if only people knew how to listen properly, i could have spared myself from going to work yesterday! i just hope they learn from this experience!

i need more happy thoughts.....

the list

2005-01-19T16:11:00.000+08:00

book sales are always good news to me because it means i get to buy more books because they're cheaper by 20% :)

i've had this list in my head for quite some time, but since powerbooks and national have their inventory sale until the 31st, i've listed them now so i will not waste time going around the book stores thinking of which books i should buy.

to help me with my list, i went to powerbooks a couple of days ago and just looked around. i've saved titles on my phone in the hopes of buying them anytime after the 18th so i can swipe my credit card :) here's my list so far:

the princess bride
series of unfortunate events
angela's ashes
neverwhere
about a boy
eating fire, drinking water
charlie and the chocolate factory
lafcadio
shopaholic and sister
lovely bones

i finally went to powerbooks during lunch today with high hopes that i'd buy the first 3 books on my list, but unfortunately, i was too late! :( i was only able to buy angela's ashes because they've ran out of copies of the princess bride and books 1-3 of lemony snicket's books.

i just consoled myself with buying angela's ashes, neverwhere and charlie and the chocolate factory but i can't help but feel bad that i took my sweet time only to end up empty-handed. i guess i would have to look for it in other powerbooks branches. i know i always have national as an option but i'm trying to fill up a track card (i've lost 2 already!) so i plan to buy books mostly from powerbooks.

anyway, i think in a way it's His way of telling me to control my spending this early in the new year. i mean, there are lots of plans to travel this year so i better stop spending on things that are not that important soon!

peyups? peyups!

2005-01-17T17:38:00.000+08:00

Panandaliang- aliw o pampalipas oras, hindi masyadong maganda pakinggan, pero yun lang ang tingin ko dito nung una. Naghahanap lang naman kasi ako ng balita tungkol sa UP Fighting Maroons. Ang alam ko nga nung una, Maroon Mania lang ang meron, kaya doon lang ako madalas tumambay.

Ewan ko nga ba kung anong meron dito at nawili ako sa pagtambay. Marahil dahil wala naman din akong masyadong kaibigan noong mga panahon na iyon kaya kahit hindi sinasadya, naenganyo akong makipagpalitan ng kuru-kuro at lumaon ay makipagkaibigan sa mga taong ni minsan e hindi ko kakilala at ni hindi pa nakikita.

Yun na nga ang simula ng halos araw-araw na pamamalagi ko rito. Bukod sa balitang UAAP at basketbol, nakasagap din ako ng balita tungkol sa iba’t ibang klaseng bagay. Nariyan yung balita tungkol sa naiwang buhay sa unibersidad, sa buhay empleyado, sa usaping pampuso, mga diskusyon tungkol sa mga kakaibang labas sa telebisyon man o pelikula, at iba pang paksain ukol sa pang-araw-araw kong pamumuhay.

Ultimo problema ko sa aking pananampalataya ay nahanapan ko ng lunas dito. Natuklasan ko ring muli ang iba ko pang natatagong hilig tulad ng pagbabasa ng libro at sige na nga, chismis sa loob at labas man ng showbiz. Napadalas ang pagsagot ko sa mga larong “jologs”, akalain ko ba namang maging moderator tuloy ako ng Quizzes and Games Folder! Pati trabaho ko ay napagaan rito. Mantakin mo ba namang magpasagot ako ng survey sa pamamagitan ng PM!

Pagkalipas ng halos isang taong pamamalagi ko rito, sino ba ang mag-aakalang isang damukal ang makikilala at magiging bahagi ng buhay ko nang dahil lamang sa pagtambay dito? Nakailang ulit din akong sumama sa mga pagtitipon ng mga tao sa likod ng mga pangalan dito, aba, e madalas ko na nga silang nakikita ngayon at biruin nyo, nakasama ko pang gumala at magbakasayon ang mga big boss dito!

Sa ngayon, patuloy pa rin akong tumatambay dito, hindi kumpleto ang araw ko kung hindi ako nakakabisita o nakakasilip man lang. Hindi na nga lang limitado tungkol sa UAAP ang balitang gusto kong masagap, kung hindi mga balita tungkol na sa mga iba’t ibang mukha at katauhan sa likod ng mga pangalang nakatambay din dito. Mabuti na lang kinailangan ko noon ng pampalipas oras, mabuti na lang libre ang internet sa opisina, mabuti na lang sumama ako sa EK at Peyups Rock Enroll EBs, mabuti na lang mahilig ako sa chismis, banda at basketbol, at higit sa lahat mabuti na lang isa akong jologs!

i wrote this for the peyups anniversary last january 30, 2003. malapit na pala mag-2 years ago yun! which also means malapit na rin ang anniversary ng peyups, i wonder if the bossings are brewing something special for this year, but i doubt it, made-demote na nga sila e hahaha!!!

anyway, it has been almost 5 years since i joined the peyups community. it still amazes me how everything happened since i never thought that i'd be able to meet and be friends with the bossings, even if i've "stalked" them in my own weird way during the early months of surfing their site.

i've become inactive these past few months. i'm no longer "connected" with the latest happenings and chismis in the community. and i really don't mind since the bossings themselves, and the others who have become my friends have also "laid low" (is there such a term?!). but what amazes me to this day is that despite my absence in the world wide web, i have managed to stay friends with everyone i've met through peyups (well, not all, but at least the people i like hehehe) and that's something i'm really, really grateful for :hugging: :D

isaw, lighter at barbecue

2005-01-11T10:40:00.000+08:00

sana masabi nito ang di masabi ng duwag na dila ko
eleven years na, pero ang lakas pa rin ng tama ko sa yo
para kang isaw na nagkandabuhol tuwing nakikita kita
halos sambahin ko na ang litrato mo sa lumang pitaka

ikaw ang lighter na nagsisilbing nitsa sa mga pangarap ko
mga mata mo'y apoy na nagbibigay sigla sa buhay ko
ikaw ang barbecue stick na tumutusuk-tusok sa kawawang puso ko
pero ikaw din ang skateboard na nagdadala ng ligaya sa mga araw ko

mahal ko, pakinggan mo sana ang sinasabi ng nakatikom na mga labi ko
ibukas mo sana ang mga mata mo sa puso ko
can't you see, may tao sa tabi mo na nagpapapansin sa yo
haaay! mahirap talaga magmahal ng manhid... pero tanggap ko na ang kapalaran ko

this is joseph's love letter to mitch in my latest favorite jologs teen show, scq reload. yup, i've been an avid fan of these "mushy-yucky" teen shows for like forever. it all started with gimik, tgis, g-mik, click, tabing ilog, kahit kailan, berks, love to love and quite recently, scq reload.

i don't think i'll ever grow tired of watching these kinds of shows, because aside from the fact that some of the teen stars are worth looking at (stress on "looking at" because sometimes they still tend to be OA) and they make me laugh (although there are also times when i couldn't take their lines so i have to switch to other channels just to keep my sanity), it's also an entertaining way to keep myself updated with what's happening with the teen market.

but i guess a bigger reason would be the fact that i just want to watch them. and i think it's because of the fact that i never experienced any of those things (the "mushy-yucky" stuff) while i was growing up that somehow, i just want to see how other people react to it all. i have no first hand experience so i just like to sit back and see for myself what the whole thing is about through other people's make believe lives. i mean come on, "watching it" is definitely more enjoyable than subjecting myself to go through the same routine, emphatizing with a character is better than experiencing everything myself because honestly, i don't think i'll ever be capable of handling them! :D

new year's list

2005-01-04T15:40:00.000+08:00

last night, i made a list of the small things that i should do for 2005.
and i am happy that in a way i've begun doing some of the things that's on my list. these are just little things, sort of "baby steps" so i can "fulfill" my new year resolutions.

it's a bit weird for me because i've never really believed in new year resolutions. and a part of me tells me that i might not be able to "fulfill" my list, but then if i don't at least try it, then how will i know if i couldn't?

i hope i'd be able to continue doing the things i promised myself i would do. i'd post the list here but i forgot it at home. but i'd share the 2 things that i've done: 1) read at least 3 chapters of His words every night and 2) walk after lunch.

i just hope they do become a daily habit. i'm kind of glad my friend from work has agreed to be my "walking buddy" so we can at least encourage and motivate each other to make walking a daily habit. as for the other things on my list, i think i need a big amount of self-discipline and high levels of motivation to carry them out as well :D

memories beyond the door

2005-01-03T17:38:00.000+08:00

I hated him the very first time I saw him. And the more I saw of him the more I realized that I hated his guts, his acts and his ways, and I do not even know his name yet! I used to say, I can not explain why but there are just people whom I can not be friends with.

Half way through the semester, we were asked to stage a play, as one class, so we were forced to mingle with the “other block”. I was appointed stage manager, tasked to patiently assist the director with every little detail about the play. Unfortunately, Mr. Pre-dent was one of the main characters of the play, he along with four of my blockmates. We needed a guy, and all my guy blockmates weren’t that cooperative, so we had no choice but to choose him.

Practices were scheduled every after class and we started reading through the script. To my surprise, I was assigned to guide Mr. Pre-dent, of all people, with reading through the script. The director decided that it would be better if she goes through the script with the other four characters, since she was one of them, too. Ha! Talk about tough luck!

At first, I found the whole situation awkward. I would just listen as he read through the script and I just couldn’t care less if he had a few slips. Then somewhere along the reading, it just happened, I can’t even remember what exactly triggered it, but slowly but surely, Mr. Pre-dent and I were enjoying each other’s company! He not only memorized his lines in due time, but we practically knew everything there is to know about each other as well. We started hanging out together, sitting across each other in class, talking non-stop during practices and searching for our crushes during our free time.

We were constantly together that his blockmates would even tease us to death, saying we look alike and other stuff, but we just didn’t mind them because we were just having fun. Meanwhile, my girl best friend was getting jealous because I was spending a whole lot of time with Mr. Pre-dent than with her, when I just used to stick it out with her before.

After weeks of rehearsals and joking around with Mr. Pre-dent, the semester was almost over and it was now time to stage the play. Little that I knew that it was also the last time that I would be seeing Mr. Pre-dent, because by next semester, he was shifting to the bigger campus.

Not that I didn’t know of his plans, as a matter of fact, he has asked me where he can get the requirements for shifting, and I have painstakingly instructed him on the step by step process of going away. Because back then, I didn’t care much if he goes away, for I knew that he was as temporary as the play we were rehearsing. Back then, I didn’t pay much attention to what type of relationship we were having. All I knew was that we were enjoying each other’s company, and that I have found a best guy friend in him.

We went straight to a now-defunct hamburger chain right after the play. We celebrated as a group for a job well done. Funny, but instead of going with his blockmates, he decided to stay with our block. I remember it was I who stayed away from him that day because I was feeling guilty about my girl best friend. Eversince Mr. Pre-dent and I got close, I wasn’t paying much attention to her anymore. Besides, I have missed her company, too.

The restaurant was filled with customers so we had to settle into little groups to chat after we had our lunch. Their group decided that it was time to go so they did. I thought, well what the heck, we would probably bump into each other in campus anyway, and he did get my number so I suppose we could still talk over the phone. Sure, that’s what I thought, but later that day, I regretted not saying “see you around” or not giving him a smile as he left or not even waving goodbye because I never had the chance to see him again after.

The thought of not having said goodbye stayed in my mind after that for a long time. Somehow, I was happy I didn’t say goodbye, since I really did not want to say goodbye to the memories we had together. But then, after the days had turned into weeks and the weeks had turned into months, I regretted not having said goodbye at all. Because it was then that I realized that he was more than a just a friend. It was then that I realized that he was more than a guy who told me stories or made me laugh. It was then that I realized that he was special to me. But it was too late, because I will never have the chance to tell him all these for he has gone. He has gone and he has just left me with memories of what has remained beyond the door.

published on peyups on my birthday year 2002.

i don't know what gave me the courage to post this here, perhaps it's because it's the new year and it's time to "come clean". i wonder if my friends will realize that what's written in this piece is a "secret" i've kept from them. and i wonder if they'll guess the characters involved in this story.

i'm just hoping that if they do "solve the mystery", they wouldn't hate me for keeping them in the dark about this. and just a side note, the person involved is in my friendster list, and i found out that very recently tied the knot :D

welcoming the new year

2004-12-30T21:35:00.000+08:00

only one more day left and it will be a new year :) i have been thinking of quite a number of things i want to do and change when the new year comes, i just hope that i'll be able to carry them out. i've always felt that i have too much time on my hands and i plan on doing things that would occupy some of that time.

i'm really hoping i can be more active in the coming year. i definitely need to be on the "move", physically, emotionally and spiritually. and i'm putting it down into writing so that this will serve as a reminder, and perhaps, it'll motivate me as well, to actually do something about it. because i must admit, sometimes my plans just remain as that, plans!

but i hope the new year will bring me enough determination and motivation to act according to my plans, and yes, i need all the help i can get to carry out these plans!

so before 2004 ends, i wish everyone a happy, peaceful, blessed and wonderful new year! 2004 has been a great year but i know He will make 2005 greater!

happy christmas!

2004-12-22T11:10:00.000+08:00

only 3 days till christmas! i hope everyone will have a happy, peaceful and wonderful christmas because i think i will :D

i received some very good news today! i just read that hp&hbp will be released on july 16, 2005! yahooo!!!!

well aside from that great great news i also have another reason to be happy, well, it's kind of materialistic, but i'm glad that i won't be having "financial problems" soon, i mean i listed quite a few things that i want for myself and i may be able to get some of those things because i received an unexpected monetary benefit for being loyal to the company :D

anyway, aside from these 2 happy news, i also am thankful for the bountiful blessings i have received this year. i feel kind of guilty though, because i think i'm not worthy of everything... i have this heavy feeling in my heart, i mean there's something i ought to do but i'm not doing, and it makes me guilty most of the time. will expound more about it in the coming days. or perhaps, the new year will inspire me to do it already :D

on a lighter note, my dad's korean friend's son is in town because he wants to study english. i met him last night and it was both funny and a bit difficult to converse with him since he knows very little english. sayang gusto ko pa naman sana chumika about sandara and lovers in paris. hahaha. my dad says he'll bring him over for the christmas eve happenings, so i better brush up on korean trivias so we'll have something to discuss about.

it's my last day at work today. so i wish everyone a happy christmas and a blessed new year! although i might be able to log on while i'm at home. i think i can never really last the holidays without going online :D

natatandaan mo pa ba

2004-12-17T09:24:00.000+08:00

Natatandaan mo pa ba nung madalas na tayong magkasama? Magkaiba naman yung trabaho natin pero nagtutulungan tayo. Kapag umaga, gagawin muna natin yung trabaho ko, tapos pag uwian na, pupuntahan naman natin yung mga kailangan nyong i-cover sa trabaho mo.

Natatandaan mo pa ba nung halos gabi-gabi napupuyat tayo sa kaka-telepono? Halos lahat na yata napag-usapan natin, mga pangarap at hinaing natin sa buhay, mga buhay ng mga kilala at hindi natin gaano kakilala, mga buhay ng mga kinaiinisan nating tao. Pakiramdam ko nga nun kilalang-kilala na natin ang isa’t isa sa dami ng napag-usapan natin, kahit ang sabi mo wala tayong kahit isang bagay na pinagkakasunduan.

Natatandaan mo pa ba nung madalas kang matulog sa bahay namin kasi malapit dun nakatira crush mo? Sabi mo mas masarap simoy ng hangin sa amin kasi iyon din yung hangin na nalalanghap ng crush mo. Sabi mo mas mahimbing kang nakakatulog kasi malapit lang yung crush mo. Basta hindi ko makakalimutan na isang beses natulog ka sa bahay namin na masama ang loob mo, nakita kasi natin yung crush mo na may kasamang iba.

Natatandaan mo pa ba nung sinabi mo na hindi tayo pwedeng magkagalit kahit kailan kasi ang dami mong utang sa akin? Kasi naman nagkakataon na laging may laman yung ATM ko pag kailangan mo ng pera, feeling mo tuloy mayaman ako. Buti na nga yon, kesa naman i-sangla mo lahat ng alahas na bigay sa iyo ng nanay mo. Tutal sabi mo naman pag kumita ka na ng malaki bibilhan mo ako ng Vitara.

Natatandaan mo pa ba na isang gabi bigla na lang tayong hindi nag-usap? Alam ko ako ang nagsimula nun. Akala ko kasi pag “nag-inarte” ako aamuhin mo ako. Akala ko kasi naintindihan mo kung bakit ganon yung reaksyon ko nung gabing yun. Akala ko kasi kilala mo na talaga ako. Akala ko kasi pag nawala ako hahanapin mo ako. Maling akala pala lahat yun. Para kasing walang nagbago sa buhay mo, patuloy ka pa ring nabuhay ng normal na parang walang nangyari.

Natatandaan mo pa ba nung matagal na panahon na hindi tayo nag-usap? Akala ko wala na akong pwedeng gawin pag wala ka. E paano, naging malaking bahagi ka na ng buhay ko. Pakiramdam ko nga malaki nawala sa akin nung hindi na tayo nagkikita at nag-uusap. Pero kahit papaano nakayanan ko naman. Unti-unti kong natanggap na wala ka na at baka hindi na kita ulit maibalik. Mahirap pero pinilit kong matuto ulit maglibang at magsaya ng hindi ka kasama.

Natatandaan mo pa ba nung muli tayong nagkita at nagkausap? Manhid na ako nun, pero nagulat ako kasi parang bale wala sa iyo lahat ng nangyari. Wala rin masyadong nagbago sa iyo. Naisip ko, ako nga lang siguro ang nag-iba nung hindi na tayo nagkita. Ni hindi mo nga tinanong kung ano ba talaga ang nangyari sa akin nung hindi tayo nagkita. Hindi na rin kita tinanong kasi obvious naman na ok ka, mas naging ok ka pa nga yata e.

Natatandaan mo pa ba na naging malapit ulit tayo sa isa’t isa pero iba na? Iba kasi dating sa iyo nung sinabi ko sa iyo na hindi ako maka-relate sa mga kwento mo tungkol sa crush mo at sa Parokya ni Edgar. Akala mo yata ang ibig kong sabihin ayaw ko ng makinig sa mga kwento mo. Hindi sa ganon, naisip ko lang kasi na nung nawala ka, nabuksan ang mata ko sa ibang bagay. Marami akong ibang nalaman, nakita, narinig at nakilala. Kaya nga inaamin ko ako yung nag-iba, ako yung nagbago.

Siguro marami rito nakalimutan mo na pero, natatandaan mo pa ba kung kailan ang birthday ko? Sana naman kasi, kahit malabo ng ibalik yung dati nating samahan, hindi ko pa nakakalimutan yung kaisa-isang promise ko sa iyo. Yung promise ko na pag namatay ako, sa iyo ko ipapamana yung ATM card ko. At kung hindi mo matatandaan kung kailan ang birthday ko, wala ring silbi yung ATM card ko, dahil hindi mo alam yung PIN number ko!

published march 18, 2002 at peyups.com.

this is an article about someone who used to be my friend. after 3 years, we're still not back to being close friends but we're civil with one another. sometimes i still feel bad about what happened, but then, i just think that everything has a reason and i know He wanted things to be that way :)

isang panaginip

2004-12-15T15:00:00.000+08:00

Di ko alam kung anong ginagawa mo sa bahay namin nung araw na yon. Nagulat na lang ako nung makita kita sa kusina namin, naghihiwa ng mga gulay. Naisip ko nga, ang weird! Bakit ikaw ang naghihiwa ng mga gulay para sa kare-kare na lulutuin ni Mama? Sa totoo lang, medyo nainis din ako kasi ako dapat ang gagawa nun, pero dahil nandyan ka, ano na ngayon ang gagawin ko? Papasok na sana ulit ako para manood na lang ng TV kaso tinawag ako ni Mama. Ako na raw ang magluto ng kare-kare kasi may iba pa siyang aasikasuhin. Kaya ayun, kahit naiilang ako sa iyo wala akong nagawa kundi sundin yung nanay ko.

Pero syempre kahit naiilang ako, medyo natutuwa din ako kasi isipin mo, ikaw ang katulong ko sa pagluluto! Mabait ka naman pala tsaka palabiro, kala ko kasi mayabang ka. Pero basta, ewan ko ba, pero kahit unang beses pa lang natin nagkita at nagkasama, nagkapalagayang-loob na tayo.

Kung tutuusin, matagal-tagal na rin kitang kilala, e sino nga ba ang hindi nakakakilala sa iyo? Pero mas marami nga lang ang alam ko tungkol sa iyo kasi lagi kang kinekwento ng kaibigan ko, may gusto kasi siya dati sa iyo. Kaya nga kahit nakakailang medyo nainteresado rin ako kung bakit ka nga ba nasa bahay namin, syempre ibabalita ko sa kaibigan ko, tiyak matutuwa yun.

Nung gabi ko na lang nalaman kay Mama na kasama ka pala sa mga estudyante niya sa cooking class. Ikaw? Cooking class? Bakit? Sabi mo mahilig ka naman talagang magluto… tsaka matagal mo na palang pangarap maging Seaman. Natawa ako nung una, hello? Anong kuneksyon ng pagluluto sa pagiging Seaman? Medyo naging defensive ka sa pagpapaliwanag. Sabi mo, di ka pala pwedeng maging Seaman, mayroon ka kasing physical fitness exam na di naipasa… pero pwede ka pa rin sumakay ng barko… kung magiging Executive Chef ka. So yun nga ang dahilan kung bakit ka nag-cooking class kay Mama. Kailangan mo yung certificate para makapagbiyahe ka. Sa totoo lang nabilib ako sa iyo noon, aba, kahit ano pala gagawin mo matupad mo lang yung pangarap mo.

Sabi rin ni Mama, huling linggo mo na sa cooking class niya nun. Naisip ko sayang, kung nung una pa lang nalaman ko na, e di sana nakagawa ako ng paraan para magkakilala man lang kayo ng kaibigan ko. Teka hindi ko pa nga pala nasasabi sa kanya ito kaya nag-plano ako na puntahan siya sa bahay nila pagkatapos ng trabaho ko.

Pagdating ko sa bahay nung kaibigan ko, wala siya… pero nandun ka! Nagtaka ako, ibig sabihin pala magkakilala na kayo? Sabagay, matagal-tagal na rin kasi kaming di nakakapag-usap ng kaibigan ko. Pero sa totoo lang, nagpapaturo ka rin pala sa nanay ng kaibigan ko magluto, mga dessert naman nga lang. Ang biro ko nga sa iyo, pursigido ka talagang makasakay ng barko ha!

Di tayo masyadong nakapag-usap nun kasi yung nanay ng kaibigan ko ang chinika ko. Tapos medyo paalis ka na nung dumating ako. Ang sabi mo nga sayang kasi may sasabihin ka dapat sa akin kaso may hinahabol kang tao para sa mga requirements mo… Isang buwan na lang kasi aalis ka na.

Ok lang, naaliw naman ako sa mga kwento ng nanay ng kaibigan ko. Kinwento niya na aalis na rin yung anak niya sa isang buwan. Nag-apply pala yung kaibigan ko na parang stewardess pero sa barko. Kaya pala hindi ko rin siya napagkikita kamakailan. Sa pag-uusap namin, nalaman ko rin na yun yung barko na sasakyan mo rin. Naisip ko ang galing a, sabay pala kayong aalis tsaka sa isang barko lang kayo… aba! Baka eto na yung matagal nang naiisip ng kaibigan ko na pagkakataon para sa inyong dalawa…

Pag-uwi ko sa bahay namin, parang naguluhan ako. Parang magkahalong lungkot at saya yung nararamdaman ko… Masaya ako kasi konting panahon na lang matutupad na yung pangarap mo tsaka yung pangarap ng kaibigan ko. Biruin mo ang dami mo pang kinailangang gawin para ka lang makasakay ng barko. Yung kaibigan ko naman kahit hindi sinasadya, pwede ng maging totoo yung pangarap niya tungkol sa inyong dalawa.

Sa kabilang banda, nalulungkot din ako. Syempre aalis na yung kaibigan ko, mami-miss ko yun ng sobra. Sino na lang makakasama ko sa mga lakad na kaming dalawa lang ang magkasundo? Tsaka kahit hindi kami madalas nagkikita nun, palagay naman ang loob ko pag naiisip ko na andyan lang siya sa tabi-tabi.

Naisip ko na nalulungkot din ako kasi aalis ka na… Ayaw ko man aminin pero kahit sa halos tatlong araw lang na nagkasama tayo, parang nahulog na rin yata yung loob ko sa iyo. Hindi ko nga maintindihan kasi hindi ko pa naman nararamdaman yung ganitong klaseng pakiramdam. Basta parang ang gaan-gaan lang ng loob ko pag magkasama tayo, merong konting kaba at excitement, pero basta at home ako pag kasama ka. Ewan ko kung naiisip ko lang yun pero pakiramdam ko, naramdaman mo rin yun. Hindi ko alam, pero ito yata yung ‘spark’ na sinasabi nila. Pero parang nilalabanan ko, kasi ano bang malay ko, ni hindi mo nga tinatanong yung numero ng telepono ko... Tsaka syempre naiisip ko yung kaibigan ko…

Nagkita tayo ulit nung nagpaplano na kami ng despedida para sa kaibigan ko. Pumunta kami ni Mama sa bahay ng kaibigan ko para tulungan yung nanay niya sa paghahanda. Andun ka rin pala para tumulong, sabi ni Mama practice mo raw yun… tsaka syempre kasama ka rin sa ide-despedida.

Walang masyadong pagkakataon na makapag-usap tayo kasi pareho tayong abala sa paghahanda. Ewan ko ba pero pag tinitingnan kita, bumibigat yung pakiramdam ko, sa kabilang banda masaya rin ako dahil kahit papaano, magkasama tayo. Ang labo no? Di ko alam kung guni-guni pero nararamdaman ko na parang may gusto kang sabihin sa akin. Naalala ko hindi pa nga pala tayo nakakapag-usap mula nung huli tayong nagkita sa bahay ng kaibigan ko.

Natatandaan ko na makailang beses din tayong di sinasadyang nagkakabunggo habang naghihiwa ng sangkap, nagluluto at naghahanda ng mesa. Pero nanatili akong tahimik, lalo na nung nagsimula nang dumating ang mga bisita nyo. Marami-rami rin akong kilala sa mga nagsidalo, naaliw ako panandalian sa pakikipag-kamustahan sa kanila pero di ko pa rin maialis ang mabigat na pakiramdam. Lalo na nung mapansin ko na parang inaantay mo akong matapos sa pakikipag-usap ko sa mga kakilala kong naroroon.

Tama yung hinala ko kasi nung sandali akong lumabas para lapitan yung kaibigan ko, sumunod ka. Binilisan ko yung lakad ko kasi gusto ko pa rin sanang ituloy ang pag-iwas ko sa iyo tsaka parang nahihiya akong makita tayo ng kaibigan ko na nag-uusap. Pero ang ginawa mo tinawag mo yung pangalan ko nung malapit na ako sa kanya kaya tumigil na rin ako at hinintay ka bago niya tayo mapansin.

Pakiramdam ko namumula ako nung lumapit ka. Bumilis din ang tibok ng puso ko tsaka pinagpawisan ako nung hawakan mo yung balikat ko para iharap ako sa iyo. Napansin ko na seryoso yung mukha mo at parang naiiyak ka nung sabihin mo na may importante kang sasabihin sa akin. Ang nasabi ko lang sa iyo paano yung despedida? Pero nagpumilit ka at sabi mo hindi ka aalis sa tabi ko hangga’t hindi tayo nagkakausap. Pumayag na rin ako pero sabi ko magpapaalam muna ako sa kaibigan ko. Kaya ayun, nagkunwari ako na may sasaglitin lang ako sa bahay namin pero nangakong babalik din ako agad. Pero bago ako umalis, may sinabi yung kaibigan ko, ang sarap mo raw magluto…

Pinigilan kong magpakita ng emosyon nung sabihin mo na alam mo na alam ko na may nangyayari sa ating dalawa... na alam mo na nararamdaman ko rin yung nararamdaman mo para sa akin. Anong gusto mong sabihin ko? Kung nakita mo lang yung reaksyon ng kaibigan ko nung sinabi niya na masarap kang magluto, maiintindihan mo kung bakit ang tanging naisagot ko lang sa iyo e yung pangalan niya. Ang sabi mo alam mo yun… sinubukan mo rin namang mapalapit sa kanya pero anong magagawa mo kung sa akin mo naramdaman yan at hindi sa kanya? Natulala lang ako… di ako nakapagsalita… Tapos sinabi mo na hindi ka na lang aalis… Hindi ka na lang sasakay sa barko kasi ayaw mo akong iwanan. Lalo akong natulala. Ang nasabi ko na lang, babalik na ako sa despedida kasi ang paalam ko sandali lang… Pero pinigil mo ko… hinawakan mo ako para hindi ako makaalis agad… kaya ang sabi ko na lang hintayin na lang muna nating matapos yung despedida at pumasok na ako sa loob.

Matagal-tagal rin ang hinintay mo. Ako naman hindi mapakali kasi hindi ko alam kung ano ang isasagot ko sa iyo… Pero sa loob ko, masaya ako at halos hindi rin ako makapaghintay matapos ang party. Sa wakas isa-isa na ring nagpaalam yung mga bisita… Kaya lang hindi pa tayo agad-agad makakapag-usap.. kailangan ko pa kasing tulungan magligpit sila Mama… pero di bale… kasi natural katulong ka rin!

Hindi ko alam kung napapansin nila Mama na iba na yung mga galaw natin. Hindi na tayo nagkakailangan. Nagngingitian na nga tayo… baduy man sabihin pero ‘malagkit na ang mga tingin’ natin sa isa’t isa… Medyo malakas na ang loob ko noon kasi nagpahinga na yung kaibigan ko dahil maaga pa ang alis niyo kinabukasan… tsaka medyo alam ko na ang sasabihin ko sa iyo… Naisip ko pa nga malamang hindi na tayo makakatulog ngayong gabi kasi mahaba-haba ang pag-uusapan natin…

Sa wakas natapos na lahat ng pagliligpit… handa na sana tayong mag-usap… rrrrriiinnnnggggg!!!

Pesteng alarm clock to o! Kung kailan naman matatapos na yung istorya tsaka tumunog! Sasabihin ko pa naman sana sa iyo na hindi ako papayag na hindi ka aalis kasi hindi ko kaya na maging sagabal sa pagtupad ng pangarap mo… Tsaka di ba anim na buwan lang naman yung kontrata na pinirmihan mo? E di hindi rin gaanong matagal yun… Tsaka para mas masiguro natin kung totoo yung nararamdaman natin… Tsaka malay mo pagkatapos ng anim na buwan hindi na ganoon ang reaksyon ng kaibigan ko sa mga luto mo di ba? Sayang… hindi ko na tuloy malalaman kung paano matatapos yung panaginip ko!

this was the very first article that got published at peyups.com three years ago, dec 11, 2001 to be exact.

don't really know what made me do it, but i just wanted to have them together in one site that's "mine" so i re-posted it here. i have a couple more so expect a few more "articles" in the coming days :D

christmas shopping

2004-12-14T09:53:00.000+08:00

i am really a crammer. i haven't completed my christmas shopping and there's only 10 days to go before christmas and 4 days before the people i will be giving gifts to "disappear".

despite the "lateness" of my shopping, i still am not in a panic mode. i'm thinking that i still have a few more days left, and besides, i am not really shopping for a lot this year. good thing i really don't have a lot of friends hehehe!!!

i've decided to give "cash" to my family and inaanaks, although, i'm really not sure where i'll get the cash hahaha!!!

aside from shopping, i realized i'm also late in sending out my christmas cards. i have had them since last year, but i thought then that it was too late to send them out so i decided to give them out this year, but as it turns out, i might be sending them late as well this year. o well, it's the thought that counts anyway so i'm sure my friends will understand if they read my card by the time valentine's is near :D

lastly, i am tempted to shop for things for myself more than for the people that i'm supposed to give out gifts to. like last night, i was able to shop for a few people, but not before i bought something for myself first. and really, i shouldn't shop fo myself yet because i'm waiting for more resources to come, if there are more coming. you see i don't want to spend so much because really, there's nothing to spend with!

but i know too that christmas is more than just giving and receiving gifts, it's also about thanksgiving and celebrating, because it's the birth of the Child that saved us all. i hope people won't forget whose birthday we are celebrating on the 25th :) happy birthday JC!

prayers

2004-12-08T09:41:00.000+08:00

i haven't had much time to really pray lately. i know i've been spending too much time in trivial things. but i've always taken comfort in the fact that whenever i "talk" to myself, i take it as "talking" with Him. although most of the time it's about the not-so-important things in my life, it feels good that in my own weird way, i get to converse with Him.

but this morning i remembered a prayer i like so much. it's the prayer of st. francis of assisi. i like the song version better, but since i can not find it now, here's the prayer:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
Where there is sadness, joy.

O, Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;
To be understood as to understand;
To be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive;
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
And it is in dying (to the self) that we are born to eternal life.

then when i opened my email, i found this little prayer of st. therese of the child jesus, which seems to "summarize" what i really need to do given how i feel most of the time.

May today there be peace within.
May you trust your highest power that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.
May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.
May you be content knowing you are a child of God.
Let his presence settle into our bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing and dance.
It is there for each and every one of you.

first friday

2004-12-03T11:29:00.000+08:00

it's the first friday of december and the first friday in a long while that i will not be going out.

you see the past couple of fridays, i've always been out either to watch a movie, dine out or simpy hang out with friends. it's pretty amazing knowing i really do not have a lot of friends, in fact i only have 2 sets of "active friends", my college buds and the peyups gang. but i'm still thankful anyway. it's been fun hanging out with them.

however, spending friday night alone tonight is a welcome change. in fact i've already thought of what i'll do. i am planning on feeding my addiction more. i might start with a review of the films and move on with reading FFs as the night progresses. i know, it doesn't sound exciting and sane, but i am really looking forward to it. in fact it's the main thing that motivated me to go to work today. the thought of spending friday night obsessing over and "nourishing" the virus leaves me with this silly grin on my face, and i just can't wait to get home!

meant to live

2004-11-23T09:35:00.000+08:00

We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside Somewhere we live inside
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside

these verses from one of switchfoot's songs has kept me thinking again about something that i've always thought about. i've always felt that i'm not meant for greatness, at least not the "greatness" that other people deem important. but somehow, i find myself asking if i'm not meant for that, then what am i really meant for? and the truth is, i know what we are all meant to be here for, problem is, i don't know what to do to "deliver" that.

i've always thought my mission in life is to take care of my parents or my family. but is that a real mission? i've always wanted to go into service, helping people out, but i find myself asking, do i have the patience? i often doubt myself especially when the simple fact of helping out my niece with homework seems to be a difficult task.

i'm questioning my capabilities, my way of thinking and my dedication to the point where i just stay still and end up doing nothing. i continue living my life the same way everyday, not taking risks, not taking chances, not even thinking of other options, simply because i don't want to anymore, simply because i don't know what to do, how to do it and where to begin.

i just wait, for something, for realization to hit me, for a sign that would tell me how to live my life, but deep down inside i know i already have the answers, i just need to be more open, more daring and more active, and sometimes the waiting sucks. but i know that not until i move will something happen. i need guidance and i know exactly who can give me that.

i find myself drawing inspiration from one of switchfoot's songs again, and it goes like this:

I dare you to move I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened before